Welcome Back to Scanra
by missgrant
Summary: Following on from "Lady Knight" - Kel is ambushed on her way back to New Hope and kidnapped by Scanrans. Can her friends save her before King Maggur extracts his terrible revenge? Changed to a "T" rating.
1. Ambush

1

For Keladry of Mindelan, the nightmare started as soon as they returned to New Hope.

The journey home from Steadfast had been a light-hearted one; conversation had centred around Lord Raoul and Buri's wedding. Neal was in high spirits after spending most of his time with Yuki, his Yamani beloved; the promise of her coming to live with him at New Hope preventing him from moping about leaving her behind at the fort once more.

Kel couldn't work out which was more annoying – a moping Neal or a happy one. In his current mood he'd spent most of the journey home teasing her about dancing with Dom at the celebrations after the ceremony. Somehow Neal had guessed her feelings for his cousin and took great delight in making jokes about unrequited love.

As they neared New Hope, Kel was considering the kindest way to kill him, when the sparrows came flying back from their foraging, shrieking in panic. Jump growled a warning.

"Ambush!" shouted Kel, reining Hoshi in and drawing her glaive from its holder on her back.

Neal was at her side in an instant, sword in hand, his green eyes flashing with awareness.

"Tobe!" Kel cried, looking for her young servant. The boy was on his pony on her other side, spear clutched tightly, his blue eyes wide in a pale face. "Get back into the tree line. Stay out of sight." Seeing argument on his face, Kel used the tone Raoul did when giving commands. "That's not a request. _Move_."

Tobe blanched and nodded, moving his piebald mare back into the trees just as the first warriors charged around the bend in the road. Her eyes on them, Kel was dimly aware that behind, in the distance, smoke was rising over the top of the woodland.

_New Hope._ Her heart constricted painfully, the images of what had played out at Haven still all too fresh in her memory.

There was no time to worry about her people just then, however. The first of the Scanrans had reached them. Kel had split seconds to curse herself for not bringing more men, for not wearing full armour and for not riding Peachblossom, before she had to bring her mind fully to the battle at hand.

She brought her glaive down in a sweeping arc, slicing the first man across the top of the head. He fell shrieking, as his comrades attacked the small party with full force.

The next few moments were a blur. Kel was aware of Neal to one side, eyes grim, his arm a blur as he fought desperately to keep the Scanrans from overwhelming him. Two of their armed escort were already down. Kel's own weapon flashed in the dim afternoon light as she slashed left and right, cutting down Scanrans like corn in the fields. Jump snarled, his muzzle bloody, and leaped at the next man he could get a clear run at.

And still they came.

_There's too many of them_, she thought, suddenly scared they were not going to make it out of this alive. _We need back up._

The thought had no sooner crossed her mind when Hoshi gave a scream of pain and reared. Kel gripped the saddle horn tightly but had to let go and roll clear as the mare fell heavily onto her side.

Scrambling to her feet, Kel stared at her horse as fingers of panic stroked her spine.

A spear was embedded in the mare's chest. One of Hoshi's large brown eyes seemed to stare at Kel pleadingly for a second, before rolling up in her head.

Jump was suddenly at her feet, whining and bristling.

No time to grieve for the loss of her calm and dependable horse, Kel's hazel eyes fixed on the man who had killed her mount.

Snarling an oath in Yamani, Kel stepped forward, spinning her glaive in a controlled movement, knocking the man's second spear from his hand and beheading him on the return stroke.

Whirling to gather her bearings now she was no longer on horseback, her eyes alighted on a sight that stopped her in her tracks.

She had forgotten about Jump whilst avenging the death of Hoshi. Her dog now lay on the ground whimpering, an arrow sticking out of his side. Behind him, more Scanrans stood in a half circle. Several of them had bows – the arrows on the string cocked and pointed straight at her.

It was the sight of Tobe, however, held with a knife to his throat, that made her freeze like a statue.

A tall man with blonde hair falling in dreadlocks, who held neither bow nor boy, stepped forward, a leering smile plastered on his face.

"Well, _Lady_ Knight," he said, in Common. "It seems you have a problem."


	2. Kidnap

2

Her mouth suddenly dry, Kel gripped her glaive tightly, willing her features into Yamani smoothness. She refused to allow herself to acknowledge the wounded Jump at her feet for the moment. All her focus was on the men who held Tobe.

"Let him go," she said simply.

"Oh we will." The big man, who seemed to be the leader, shrugged. "We have no need of him. Nor any need to kill him…unless…"

When he didn't finish his sentence, Kel growled, "Unless what?" Her eyes were fixed on Tobe. The boy was ghostly white, tears were flowing silently down his cheeks. A thin trickle of blood ran down his neck where the knife was pressed.

"Unless you don't do as we ask," the Scanran replied. "You see, we want you. Only you. King Maggur has some questions he'd like answered."

Kel's stomach clenched. Maggur knew about her. This couldn't be good.

Where was Neal? Where were her other men? Kel could hear the sounds of battle still being played out behind her, but dared not turn her gaze away from the men holding Tobe.

Taking a deep breath through her nose, Kel nodded slowly.

The Scanran smiled. "Good girl. Now, put down your weapon."

"Lady, no!" cried Tobe frantically. "Don't – " He was cut off as the man holding him shifted the hand not holding a knife from the boy's shoulder to his mouth.

Rage burnt in her heart, but Kel let none of it show on her face as she carefully placed her glaive on the muddy ground.

"Excellent. Now kneel."

Tobe's blue eyes were pleading, fixed on her face. Kel tried to let him know it was going to be ok through a look, as she dropped slowly to her knees.

"So far, so good," the Scanran leader's face twisted into a cruel grin.

Kel was dimly aware of movement behind her. Although all her warrior's senses screamed at her to move, fight, run, _anything_, she stayed where she was in the mud. Her eyes remained on Tobe's face as a searing pain flashed through her temples.

His terrified expression was the last thing she remembered as the world span away into blackness.


	3. New Hope

3

It was Neal who found him, shivering under a bush.

"Tobe?" The tall mage bent down. "Tobe, what happened?"

The boy shook his head silently, clutching a semi-conscious Jump closer to him.

"Tobe," Neal said more firmly, "You need to tell me what happened." The knight's brown hair was tacky with blood. His face was mottled with bruises and his green eyes were frantic, belying the calm tones in his voice.

"I…they…" Tobe's voice stuck in his throat. He kept seeing her; the tall, strong body of his mistress lying prone on the floor. The helplessness in her hazel eyes before the man had struck her unconscious. "They took 'er, Sir Nealan. The Scanrans. T'was my fault…all my fault…" and he began to cry.

Strong hands lifted him to his feet and a cooling sensation trickled to the small wound at his neck.

"Come on," said Neal. "Let's get home."

Nealan of Queenscove was worried. Actually, that was an understatement. He was _terrified_. Riding back through the gates of New Hope, with fewer men and no Protector of the Small, was the hardest thing he'd ever had to do. That included walking into the Chamber of the Ordeal.

People came running up to him from all angles, panic etched on their faces. To his left, part of the walls were still burning, a line of people with buckets frantically trying to put out the fire.

"Sir Nealan, what…where's Lady Kel?" Saefas asked, fear glinting in his eyes. "The Scanrans attacked…we…"

"Where's Sir Merric?" Neal demanded curtly. "And, what's his name…Zerhalm? Jump needs healing." He guestured to the dog, sill held firmly in Tobe's arms.

When Saefas just stood there, gaping, Neal's temper frayed. "_Find them! Now!_"

As the man ran off to do his bidding, Neal stalked towards headquarters, his head spinning. Fanche, New Hope's headwoman, fell into step behind him, closely followed by several sergeants.

Entering the building Neal paused and closed his eyes before turning and addressing the small group that had gathered.

"In a moment. I want Sir Merric to be here too."

"It's bad isn't it?" asked Fanche, heavy-lidded brown eyes worried.

Neal nodded.

Moments later, Merric came storming into the room, Saefas in his wake. His red hair was tousled from being inside a helmet and soot streaked his pale features.

"What's going on? Saefas didn't say – " he stopped abruptly, his eyes finding his year-mate. "Neal? You're back?" His blue eyes swept the room looking for another familiar face and not finding it. "Where…where's Kel, Neal?"

Now it came to it, he wasn't sure how to begin. "We were ambushed on the road back, not far from here. We lost three men. But they weren't interested in fighting us, not really. They were distracting us."

Silence fell across the room.

"Distracting you from what?" Merric asked finally, his voice soft.

Neal swallowed. "From Kel. They wanted Kel. They've taken her to Maggur."

A small cry came from the corner of the room. Tobe had snuck in, unannounced, and left at a run.

Merric stared as the boy ran out and then turned back to Neal, horror etched on his face. "Maggur? He knows what she did? To Blayce?"

"Goddess!" whispered Fanche, making the sign against evil on her chest. Others in the room copied her.

"I believe so. They used Tobe to get to her. The boy's distraught." Neal refused to allow himself to feel his own emotions for the time being. The thought of his best friend in the hands of the enemy would prove too much for him if he stopped to think about it.

"Bright Mithros protect us all…" Merric's expression was frozen momentarily. Then it hardened. "What do we need to do?"

Neal scowled. "We get her back of course. But we'll need help. Who fancies a ride back to Steadfast with me?"


	4. Prisoner

4

Wakefulness came back over Kel in the form of a splitting headache. Her eyelids felt too heavy to open. She groaned.

She appeared to be on a horse. That was odd, she pondered a little deliriously, her head flopping about on a limp neck. It didn't have Peachblossom's gait, but the back was too broad to be Hoshi…

Hoshi.

Memories of the fight earlier swamped her for a moment. Her mare's death. Jump, wounded at her feet. Tobe held by Scanrans. And then nothing but pain and blackness.

The pain was still there, threatening to plunge her back into full unconsciousness any second. Breathing was a little difficult: for some reason she could only suck air in through her nose. There was some sort of material covering her mouth.

Kel tried to raise her hands to pull the material away, but found she couldn't.

With great effort, Kel finally managed to force her eyes open.

As her vision cleared, she looked down at her hands. They were tied together with rope in front of her and the free end was wrapped tightly around the saddle horn of the horse she was sitting on.

Her heart starting to thump alarmingly, Kel leant to look down at her feet in the stirrups, the movement making her head swim. Rope had been looped around each ankle, tethering them to the stirrup straps.

Someone had made sure she was not about to go anywhere.

Now fully awake, as if someone had poured ice water over her head, Kel stared about her. Scanrans rode all around and the lead rope of the horse she was riding was being held by one whose dirty blonde hair fell past his shoulders in dreadlocks. A couple of large wolfhounds trotted near him.

Suddenly, she remembered what had happened and where they were taking her.

Into Scanra. To Maggur.

For a moment Kel felt nothing but a blind panic. She began to struggle against her bindings, but the rope just dug deeper into her wrists. Her frustrated curses were muffled by the gag.

The dreadlocked man turned on his horse at the noise and grinned.

"Ah…Lady Knight. You're back in the land of the living I see."

Kel fell still, breathing heavily. She glared at him, hazel eyes glittering with rage.

He only continued to smile that smarmy smile. Kel wanted nothing more than to wipe it off his scraggily bearded face.

"We're well on our journey. You've been out for a while now. Mannet knows just the right place to hit a person, don't you Mannet?" Dreadlocks nodded at a burly Scanran to Kel's left who smirked and winked at her.

Dreadlocks turned back to Kel, his grin widening. "It'll take us two days to get to Castle Rathhausak…although you already know that don't you? We'll ride until sunset and then make camp for the night. Get yourself nice and comfortable, Lady." And with that he turned forward again.

_Comfortable!_ Kel felt anything but. Nausea rose in her throat, but she fought it back down. She called on every inch of her Yamani training to find some semblance of calm. It was harder to do than ever before.

Where were her friends? What had happened to them all? Had they survived?

A cheeping sound drew her eyes down to the horse's neck. Nari, the leader of the sparrow flock perched there, her small eyes worried as she considered Kel's predicament. As suddenly as she was there, however, the bird took off and flew into the distance. Several other sparrows appeared from the trees and followed.

Kel had been unable to give the sparrow any instructions, nor signal to her with hand gestures. She only hoped that Nari was truly clever enough to return to New Hope or Steadfast and get help.

With nothing else to do, Kel shut her eyes and started to pray.


	5. Steadfast

5

"So…what do you think?"

Neal held his breath as he waited for the reply. He, Saefas, Fanche and a couple of hardened ex-convict soldiers had ridden back down the Steadfast road as fast as their horses could carry them. Even so it had taken most of the day to get there. Merric, after much heated argument, had stayed at New Hope – the town still needed a knight in command.

Now Neal stood in front of his old training master, unable to read the emotions that flickered across Lord Wyldon's hard face.

"I think it's fairly obvious," replied the short, red-haired woman who was also in the room. Alanna the Lioness had stayed at Steadfast for Lord Raoul's wedding. She had been due to ride out in three days time. "We go after her." She raised an eyebrow at Wyldon.

The older knight sighed and rubbed a hand over his bald crown. He too had been here for the wedding and was due to ride back to his own fort, Mastiff, the next day.

"This situation is even worse than Keladry being in danger. King Maggur is losing the war. He knows this. There's no telling what sort of information he might be able to get out of her." His brown eyes met Neal's squarely.

The thought of what Maggur might do to get information out of Kel made Neal feel queasy.

"All the more reason why we need to get after her as soon as possible," Alanna said firmly.

"I agree," replied Wyldon, shocking both the Lioness and Neal for a moment. He looked at Owen, who had taken the news badly and had been standing in the room with them trying to control his tears. "Squire Owen, pull yourself together and find Sergeant Domitan and his men. Tell them to report here immediately." The boy nodded and ran from the room.

"Dom's still here?" Neal asked.

Wyldon nodded. "As much as Lord Raoul loves Third Company, I think he drew the line about taking them on honeymoon with him." Such a glib comment from the normally stony Wyldon gave Neal some inclination of how worried the man was. "They'll come in handy in the Scanran woods. They know the land well from last time and we'll need them if we're to find Keladry as quickly as possible."

"We?" chorused Alanna and Neal.

For the first time, Neal witnessed Wyldon looking sheepish. "I put too much work into that girl to throw it all away now. Besides…" he didn't finish the sentence, but Neal knew Wyldon felt partly responsible for the previous incident which meant Kel had to deal with Blayce alone. Almost.

He was about to ask what their next move was, when a scrabbling sound at the shutters stopped him. Neal looked quizzically at Alanna.

Wyldon frowned and leant over to open the shutters. A flurry of sparrows blew in, darting frantically around the room until they had found perches on each of the three knights.

"What the…" murmured the Lioness softly.

Looking sharply at Neal, Wyldon barked, "Queenscove, what does this mean?"

Neal held out a finger and the lead sparrow, Nari, came to perch on it. She peeped at him impatiently.

"You know where Kel is?" he asked eagerly, feeling no embarrassment about talking to a bird.

Nari peeped again and pecked his finger lightly twice.

"That means yes…or at least they know what road they're taking with her." Neal looked at the two older knights, his eyes shining.

"Well," commented Wyldon, fishing a piece of bread from his pocket and feeding it to the sparrows on his shoulders. "That's a start."


	6. Enemies

6

The fact her horse had stopped walking woke Kel from an uneasy doze. She realised the Scanrans were setting up camp for the night in a clearing.

"Let's get her sorted lads," said Dreadlocks, nodding his head towards her.

"Aye, Kerlan," one of the younger men saluted him.

_Kerlan_, thought Kel viciously. She would remember his name later, when she bashed his head in.

Two men undid the ropes around her ankles and then unwound the end of the rope that tethered her hands to the saddle.

"Dismount then lass," said one of them, giving her a brisk slap on the rump.

It was probably fortunate that she was still gagged, because if they had been able to hear the language that would have poured from her lips, it might have ended badly. Kel swung one leg over the back of the saddle trying, and failing, to whack the rump-slapper round the head with her boot. She slithered to the ground in an ungainly manner.

Her treacherous knees buckled underneath her as she landed. Too many hours immobile in the saddle coupled with a head wound had left her feeling unusually weak. Hands grasped her under the armpits, pulling her to her feet and supporting her until she could stand unaided.

Kerlan, the leader, had wandered over. He stood a good six-foot tall, Kel noted. Pretty much exactly the same height as she was.

"I think we're probably far enough away from your little friends now to dispense with this," he commented, removing her gag. "How are we feeling?"

So many different cutting remarks flew around her brain, but Kel settled with, "Wonderful." She coughed. Her mouth felt like it still had cloth in it.

The Scanran beamed at her. "Glad to hear it. Make the most of it, it won't last. Mannet!" The burly man who had knocked her out cold wandered over. "I think the Lady probably needs to answer a call of nature. Take her over to the bushes."

Grasping the end of the rope that bound her wrists, Mannet tugged her like a dog over to the bushes at the edge of the clearing. Once they were hidden from view of everyone else, he gestured at the ground.

"Off you go then, wench."

Kel raised her eyebrows at him.

"Ach!" he exclaimed in frustration, shutting his eyes and turning his head away.

Kel did indeed need to answer a call of nature, but more pressing things were weighing on her mind. Like what would happen if she were to hook one of the Scanran's legs with her own, sending him tumbling to the ground. And what would happen if, before he had a chance to cry out for help, she brought her elbows down, hard, on the side of his head.

_Well, fancy that,_ thought Kel, looking down at the unconscious man. _You're not the only one who knows the right places to hit a person after all._

She turned and ran.


	7. Escape

7

The woods were quiet. For now.

Kel leant against the tree trunk and tried to bring her breathing under some sort of control. She had run as fast as she could, as far as she could. Her legs trembled dangerously and her head was pounding once more.

She raised her hands to the spot where she had been hit, wincing as her fingers found a large bump and dried blood. The wound hurt sharply as she touched it, making her vision go grey round the edges. She bit the inside of her cheek until the faintness went away.

Turning her attention to her hands, Kel frowned at the rope that still bound them. The long coil that dangled kept tangling in the bushes and her fingers were almost totally numb.

She tried to get her teeth around the tight knot, with no success. It was awkwardly placed. She once more tried to simply pull her hands free, but had less luck than ever. Her wrists were already ringed with blood from previous attempts.

Trying to get her breeches down proved awkward, as did pulling them back up again, but once Kel had emptied her bladder she felt she could concentrate a bit more.

The sunlight was almost totally gone now – darkness would work to her advantage later.

Once Kel had decided which way south was, she set out at a careful jog, ears alert to any sounds of pursuit. Her brisk pace kept her warm in the chilly night – the Scanrans had stripped her of everything except her shirt, breeches and boots. She did not know how long she could keep it up, however. Now the adrenaline of her previous flight was fading, she was starting to feel a little fragile again; her capture and the serious lack of food or drink was starting to take its toll.

A welcome sound finally reached her ears. Water! She followed the trickling until she almost stepped in the small stream.

Kel grinned for the first time that day. She was so thirsty she felt she could drink the whole stream in one and, even better, it seemed to flow roughly south. Possibly even into the Vassa River. She could follow it home.

Laying flat on her front, Kel had barely touched her lips to the river when her sharp ears picked up a new sound. Dogs baying.

She scrambled to her feet, trying to find the direction of the sound. Maybe it was the dogs of New Hope, with her friends, coming to rescue her. She couldn't recall the Scanrans having dogs with them.

Or did they?

Another round of barking. There were two of them. The sound seemed to be coming from the direction she had just come from.

On second thoughts, maybe the Scanrans did have dogs with them. Kel racked her brains, trying to remember.

The barking got closer. And more vicious.

"Oh, give me a _break_!" Kel turned and started to run downstream. Despite the fact the water flowed coldly over the tops of her boots, soaking her feet, she stayed in the water, hoping it would throw the dogs off her scent.

Going for speed over quiet, Kel splashed her way forward, slipping dangerously on stones as she did so. She slowed a little as the stream deepened to knee height.

For once the Gods seemed to be on her side. The moon came out brightly and illuminated the cliff edge just before she ran straight off it. Coming to a squelching stop, Kel stared dumbstruck at the way the ground just stopped in front of her. She backed up a few paces and climbed out of the stream.

_So much for that idea,_ she thought. _There must be a way down._

Snarling behind her brought her back to her present danger. Kel turned just in time to see a large grey wolfhound hurl itself at her.

No time to think, Kel pivoted on one leg and kicked the dog in the jaw, hard. She heard something snap and it fell to the ground whimpering and pawing at its mouth.

But she had thrown herself off balance and, unable to use her hands for stability, she toppled over to land on her behind, just as the second dog made its leap.

Screaming, Kel managed to raise her bound hands and grasp its collar, as the force of the dog landing on her chest knocked her on her back.

Large white teeth, dripping with saliva, snapped ferociously mere inches from her face, as she desperately clung onto its collar. The dog was heavy and horribly strong; its sour breath blew hotly into her eyes as she struggled to force it off her.

"Dagger! Leave!" a sharp male voice cried in Scanran.

The dog snarled in her face once last time, before wrenching itself backwards out of Kel's grasp and trotting back to its master.

She lay there on the ground, trembling from head to toe, her breath coming in whimpering gasps, sounding a bit like the dog she had kicked.

A hand grasped her hair painfully and yanked her onto her knees.

Kel found herself looking into two burning blue eyes, lit by moonlight.

Gone was Kerlan's genial demeanour of before. "That was really, really _stupid_," he said softly. His free hand grasped her by the chin and squeezed hard. "If it were up to me, I'd break your jaw just as you broke my dog's." Kel choked back a cry of pain as he increased the pressure before releasing her. "Luckily for you, King Maggur wants you able to speak clearly when he squashes every last piece of information from your pathetic mind. But mark my words, _wench_, I will find a way to make you regret this."

Kerlan paused, considering, before gesturing to the men who stood behind him. "Hold her still." As they complied, he unwound the leather belt from around his waist. He grasped the back of her shirt and wrenched it over her head, baring her back.

Through her foggy mind, Kel guessed what was coming next. She grit her teeth and willed herself to become stone. The Yamani warriors dealt with pain without complaint. She would be no different to them.

Kel tried to hold on to that thought as the leather began to smack into her flesh.


	8. Rescue Party

8

"Any sign?"

Neal sighed and put his spyglass back in its pouch. He slid down from the tree branch he'd been sitting in.

"Hard to tell, this wood is so cursed thick and the light's awful…" he replied to Alanna's question. Pausing he looked at the sparrows perched on the Lioness' shoulders. "Nari? Can you go and scout forward again? See if you can find how far in front of us they are?" The sparrows – normally asleep at this time – peeped in agreement and flew off.

He looked at Lord Wyldon to see if the older knight disapproved of his orders, but the man was silent, preoccupied.

Neal walked back over to his horse, but a hand stopped him as he went to remount.

"Neal? We'll find her. Don't worry."

It was a mark of how concerned Dom was that he did not use his favourite nickname for his cousin. Neal studied the other man, noting the fear in his blue eyes and the worry lines around his long nose.

He gave a wry smile. "I know. I just wish…" Neal stopped and sighed.

Glancing round at their small company in the weak moonlight, Neal hoped they would be able to beat back any Scanrans they came across. Admittedly, they did have the King's Champion with them; Lord Wyldon who was as good as an army in his own right; several men from Dom's squad in the King's own and the few who had accompanied him from New Hope.

And Owen. As Neal clambered back on his horse, he found the normally cheerful Squire ride up on his side. They moved out once more.

"We'll have to stop and rest soon. That moon's going to go behind those clouds in a bit. Mind you, if we can't see to ride, than neither can the Scanrans. They'll be stopping to make camp as well, you can bet on it." Neal realised he was babbling, trying to distract Owen from his thoughts. And himself for that matter.

Owen nodded silently, his expression bleak. He went to answer Neal, when they both froze. Dogs howled somewhere in the distance.

"Them, do you think?" Owen said, hopefully.

Neal shrugged. "I don't recall if they had dogs with them. It could be coming from a nearby village. We shouldn't get our hopes up."

"I can't stand this!" Owen cried out suddenly, his hands tightening on the reins, making his mount snort in protest. "I can't stand not knowing what's happening to her!"

"Jesslaw!" snapped Wyldon, turning back and glaring at his squire. "Do you want every Scanran in the area to know about our presence? Keep your voice down!"

"Sorry sir," Owen whispered. He wiped his eyes on the back of his hand.

Neal leant over and squeezed his friend's shoulder. "Hey, come on. This is Kel we're talking about. Out of all of us, she's probably the most well equipped person to deal with something like this. She'll be fine. She's probably escaped and is on her way back to us now. You'll see."


	9. Fief Rathhausak

9

It was not the first light of dawn that brought her back to painful wakefulness, but familiar chirping of sparrows.

Kel opened bloodshot eyes and looked down at the ground in front of her.

"Nari?" she croaked weakly.

The queen sparrow hopped up and down happily. She then flew in a tight circle before, once more, leaving as quickly as she had been there, the other sparrows following.

_Friends._ That was the signal Nari had shown her. Her friends were nearby, perhaps.

"Nearly ready to go, cap'n!" shouted a nearby Scanran.

Kerlan nodded, his dreadlocks swinging about his shoulders as he walked over to Kel.

"I trust we had a comfortable night?" he said.

Kel didn't dignify this with an answer, just stared back at him evenly. She had lost all feeling in her arms. On their return to the camp, Kerlan had ordered the rope that bound her wrists to be tied to an overhead tree branch, forcing her to remain in a stretched standing position for the entire night. Rope had been tied round her ankles. The Scanrans were not taking any chances of her escaping a second time.

Kerlan tugged his ratty beard and sighed, considering the girl in front of him. "You're strong, I'll give you that. Still, I wonder how much more it will take before we finally break you."

"I guess we'll find out," rasped Kel, her face Yamani smooth.

The Scanran leader smirked, taking a flask from his belt and swigging a long drink from it. Kel could not help but keep her gaze on it. She was so thirsty.

"Oh, how rude of me. I should have offered you some really." Kerlan tipped the few drops that were left into his palm and flicked them in her face. "Shame. You'll have to wait until we get to the castle." His face hardened as he gestured to his men. "Get her ready lads."

Someone undid the rope that bound her to the tree. Her muscles had turned to water and Kel could do nothing else but fall flat on her face, grimacing as her cheek hit the dirt. Her sore back protested at the movement. An unseen person freed her ankles as she lay there.

"Pathetic," someone nearby snarled. "On your feet wench." A boot drove into her ribs.

Kel gave a choked gasp, curling into herself for a moment. She then painfully drew herself onto her knees and finally onto her feet, swaying precariously.

Rough hands grasped her and bundled onto the horse again, securing her tightly to the saddle once more.

The rest of the day passed in a haze of almost delirium. Kel's back, generously striped with welts from the previous evening's episode, seemed to pulse with pain. Her throat was so dry every swallow felt like scraping glass. Her fingers…well Kel wasn't an expert, but she was pretty sure that the sickly bluish-white colour they were wasn't a good sign. All she could feel there was a slight tingle.

And suddenly they were passing through a village. What had _been_ a village. The houses had been razed to the ground. A gibbet, hung with decayed corpses and dotted about with crows, held a sign written in Scanran: _Traitors._

In the distance lay a ruined castle – the walls still standing strong and firm, but the keep a burnt out stone shell. Several new wooden buildings peeked over the top of the castle walls.

Castle Rathhausak.

Kel's heart froze as she stared at the ruined village and the gibbet as they passed through. Most of the villagers who had helped her rescue the children from Stenmun and Blayce's grasps had come back to Tortall with them. The ones that had chosen to stay in the village had paid the ultimate price.

Turning her eyes away from the pitiful sight the bodies made, Kel fixed her teeth into her lower lip, beating back tears. Kerlan and his men would think she cried from fear or pain, not from the aching guilt she felt at leaving innocent people to die for her deeds. Willing herself to remain as stone, Kel turned her gaze instead to the castle as they drew nearer to the newly replaced gates.

Men in armour swarmed the place as they entered the outer bailey. Compared to other Scanran warriors she had seen, these men seemed efficient and business-like, in decent armour, responding smartly to orders barked at them by their officers.

As the gates creaked shut behind her, Kel's spirits sank even lower. A rescue might have been possible on the road. It would be ten times harder for her friends to get to her now she was inside the castle walls.

Kerlan looked at his prisoner and gave a savage grin. "Welcome back to Scanra, Lady Knight. Now, let's not dawdle. His Majesty is waiting eagerly to meet you."


	10. Surprise Visitor

_Thanks for everyone who has been reviewing so far! Unfortunately I might be a little slower updating than I was previously, but here's the next (short) instalment. Happy reading and reviewing! :o)_

10

Rustling in the trees to his left, closely followed by heavy hoof beats, alerted Neal to someone following them.

"Wait!" he hissed, holding up a gloved hand in a signal to stop.

The small company came to a halt, knights drawing swords silently. Dom and his squad gripped their spears, eyes like stone. Fanche, Saefas and the New Hope men put arrows to the string.

"Steady," murmured Lord Wyldon. The Lioness gave a derisive snort.

The rustle and hoof beats grew closer. Neal tensed, sword tight in his grasp. The last thing he expected was a stocky, scarred white dog to come bounding gleefully through the undergrowth, closely followed by an irritable looking strawberry-roan warhorse. Perched side-saddle on the horse's back was a young boy holding a spear.

"What…Tobe! What in Mithros' name are you _doing_?" Neal gaped.

The lad looked mulish, sticking his chin out defiantly. "Jump's all healed now. An' Peachblossom din't want to stay home while you lot're out recusin' milady. Nor did I." His blue eyes glared accusingly, challenging them to send him back.

Neal looked helplessly at Alanna, seeing the older woman suppress a grin. "Well, I can't deny that Peachblossom and Jump will of great help. Nor will the addition of another warrior," she added seriously, purple eyes fixed on Tobe.

Lord Wyldon looked as if he wanted to argue this point, but bit back the words. "As long as you follow orders carefully," he told the boy sternly. At Tobe's salute, he nodded. "Very well then."

Neal shook his head and scowled at the lad as they continued on their way. "How did you catch up with us?" he demanded, worried that they were so easily found.

Tobe looked sheepish. "Your horses tol' me which way you were goin'." Neal had forgotten the boy was a horse mage. "An' I'm sorry Sir Nealan, but it's my fault that milady got catched by them Scanrans. I can't be sittin' around while they 'ave their way with 'er." He kept his eyes fixed on Peachblossom's mane.

"Tobe," said Neal, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder, only to quickly snatch it back as he caught Peachblossom's eye. "We've been through this. It's not your fault. I'm as much to blame. I should have been more vigilant."

"Queenscove!" Wyldon's voice was low but carrying, interrupting the conversation. "We're at the castle."


	11. King Maggur

11

The Scanran king was much shorter than Kel was expecting – almost a foot shorter than she was. He was also younger; wavy blonde hair framing a tanned face, cropped beard hiding a small, pinched mouth above which perched a broad nose and a pair of coldly intelligent blue eyes.

Those eyes were fixed on her face right now, studying her with as much interest as she was him.

"Interesting," he murmured, gazing at the tall young woman before him. "I'm not sure what I was expecting. Not this, that's for sure."

"The feeling's mutual," retorted Kel.

Maggur Rathhausak raised an eyebrow – either in amusement or irritation – and gestured to Kerlan, who was standing just behind Kel. The blunt end of a spear was suddenly driven into the back of her knees.

Kel grunted with pain and dropped into a kneeling position on the hard earth floor.

"Better," commented Maggur. "Appearance of respect to your superiors is always recommended."

"Sire," one of the Scanran guards knelt and presented the King with something. Glancing at it, Kel realised it was her glaive.

Hefting it, the King swung the weapon with some skill. "Very nice." He studied the blade. "Yamani steel work too, no less. It will make a nice addition to my collection." Maggur passed the glaive to one of his men and turned back to Kel.

"Now, the question is, Keladry of Mindelan, Protector of the Small, Tortall's second Lady Knight in living memory…oh don't look so surprised, you think your king is the only one to have spies in enemy territory?...the question is, what shall I do with you?"

Kel willed her face back into calm blankness and stared back at her captor in silence.

Maggur stepped over to her and grasped her short brown hair in one hand, pulling her head backwards. He studied her face as Kel grit her teeth. "I was _most_ displeased when I had learnt my pet mage, Blayce the Gallan, had been killed by one of my enemy. Most displeased. Even less happy was I when I learnt that my childhood home, my _castle_ had been destroyed in the process. Admittedly I had not been here for a while, but as you can see I am back now and the damage needs repairing and someone needs to _pay_ for it."

His fingers tightened in her hair. Kel ground her teeth together tightly.

Maggur sighed and released her. "I think the Lady Knight needs rest. Give her our most comfortable room. Then we shall speak with her later." He grinned wolfishly at the confusion that flicked across her expression.

Pulled to her feet, Kel was taken out of the small wooden building that served as King Maggur's meeting hall. They walked across the courtyard and she noted how much work was being done to rectify the damage she had caused the last time she was here.

Vivid images across Kel's mind: she had lost friends that day, as well as saving others and ending the reign of terror that had been Blayce and his killing machines.

She was so preoccupied that when a building – more of a shed really, leant up against the blackened wall of the keep – loomed up in front of her, Kel was not expecting it when Kerlan opened the door and thrust her inside.

Grasping her arm, Kerlan drew a knife from his belt. "Well, you've certainly made an impression on his majesty. I'm not sure what he's got in mind for you, but won't it be fun to find out." His smile made Kel's stomach roll as she kept her eyes on the blade.

Kerlan pulled her wrists towards him and used his knife to saw through the rope. Once that had been done he released Kel and stepped outside, shutting the door without another word. A firm click sounded and then footsteps faded into the distance.

Her breath left her body in a long whoosh. Kel finally allowed her tense shoulders to slump as she peeled bits of rope from the raw skin around her wrists. Her fingers were not cooperating as much as they should be, but colour was already starting to come back into them and the beginnings of what Kel predicted would be some painful cramps.

A tiny window near the top of the wall allowed meagre light to filter through. Kel used it to review her surroundings. The building was solid wood on three sides: the fourth was the smoke stained stone wall of the castle. The space was cramped; if Kel's arms weren't so stiff she could probably reach out and touch both walls at once. A pile of straw was dumped in one corner; a bucket in another.

She walked around the small room, eyes roving the walls for some gap. She tested the door. It was built as solidly as the rest of the shed.

Kel sat on the earth floor, rested her back against the stone wall, winced as the welts connected with the rough surface and leant forward, wrapping her arms around her knees.

Never in her life had she ever felt so helpless. Even when Conal had held her over that balcony when she was four, at least she was able to shout for help. And it came. The Chamber of the Ordeal had been conquered by force of mind. Now there was nothing she could do but wait for something to happen. Either her friends would come to her rescue – a scenario that was looking increasingly unlikely – or Maggur would decide what he wanted to do with her; something that was likely to be extremely unpleasant and painful.

Kel did not have an over-active imagination, not like Neal, but she could not prevent horrible images of torture from playing over and over again in her mind. She knew she could deal with pain to a certain point, but there was bound to be something that pushed her too far. Kel realised that she could prove a danger to Tortall as well. She knew things that Maggur would love to get his hands on – not much, it wasn't as if she were a vital part of planning the tactics of war – but it could be enough to tip the balance in his favour.

The nausea that had threatened her on and off for the last couple of days finally got the better of her. Kel lurched to her knees and dragged the bucket towards her; retching weakly and bringing up nothing but bile. Her hands chose that very moment to spasm painfully as the blood started to pump more freely into the muscles. The effort of being sick pulled at the angry welts on her back.

Footsteps coming closer made her get a grip on herself. Kel pushed the bucket away once more and wiped her face on a dirty sleeve. She clambered to her feet as the door opened.

Mannet, the stocky man she had knocked out in her escape attempt, scowled at her and placed a tray on the floor. "You got a coupla hours to yourself lass. The King's got some things he needs to sort out, then he's ready to meet you again. Just thought you might like to know." He fingered the bump on the head she had given him and looked at her with something like pity. Kel didn't reply.

The man frowned at her once more and then abruptly left, locking the door once more.

Kel picked up the tray and sat down with it on her lap. A plate with stale bread and a piece of distinctly mouldy cheese greeted her, making her stomach churn. More welcome was a large jug of water.

She drained most of the jug and forced herself to eat at least some of the bread. As she chewed she started to feel defiant. Let them do their worst. They would find Keladry of Mindelan a hard nut to crack.


	12. Three Days

12

It would take another three days before they could hope to get into the castle.

Three days.

Neal's hopes had been raised when, with Castle Rathhausak in sight, they had come across some Queen's Riders, on a recce in enemy territory. The Fifteenth –Stickers – were scouting out the area, now they knew Maggur was back in his old home fief. One of the sparrows had come back from scouting the area, signalling friends. Neal and his small band had been delighted to see a whole Rider group; their chances seemed greatly improved.

But that had been short lived.

"We're waiting for some more back up," the captain, a dark-haired, stern woman said. "And we've been watching the castle for some days now. The best time to try and force entry is when they have a delivery of supplies. And the next one's not for another three days."

Three days.

Neal had argued. "But you've _got_ backup now. We're here. And we can't wait three days, the Lady Knight's in trouble and goodness knows what's happening to her and…"

It was at this point that Wyldon had cut him off. "Sir Nealan…the Captain is right. We must use this time wisely, to prepare an assault. Even with a Rider group and extra reserves, we're not in a good position to try storming a castle. We have no choice." To Neal's shock, Alanna and most of the others had agreed.

And that had been that. They had set up camp with the Riders and started their preparations.

The first day crawled by.

Neal was sitting by himself, leaning against a tree stump, idly drawing patterns in the dirt with a stick. A shadow passing over him made him raise his head.

Lord Wyldon stood over him, hands on hips. "Queenscove, do you mean to do anything constructive today or are you going to continue to sulk?"

At these words, Neal felt a terrible rage rise in his chest. He got to his feet. "Constructive? How is _any_ of this constructive? Why are we wasting time? Kel's in danger…for all we know she could be…" He could not bring himself to finish that sentence.

"In which case trying to assault the castle now would make little difference," replied Wyldon evenly. "You know why we are waiting Queenscove. I am not going to waste my time explaining it again." He turned to walk away.

"No!" Neal lunged and grabbed Wyldon by the arm. His old training master turned to stare at him. The look he gave Neal would have stripped paint, but the younger knight was too angry to notice.

"You never liked her! You did everything you could to get rid of her! And now you've got the perfect opportunity to do that! She could be completely out the picture and you can return and say '_Oh this proves lady knights are no good, they allow themselves to be captured and killed…'_"

"That is _enough_."

Even in his fuming state, the tone in Wyldon's voice stopped Neal in his tracks.

The older man jerked his arm out of Neal's grip. "How _dare_ you say such a thing? I could have easily turned all of you in after your last little escapade in Scanra; that was one way for me to be rid of lady knights and irritating upstarts who don't know when to keep their mouth shut. But, if you'll remember rightly, I did no such thing and now I'm stuck rescuing the lady knight and still having to deal with the irritating upstart who hangs around her all the time!"

Neal was momentarily speechless. He knew Wyldon didn't like him, but he had never heard such ire in the man's voice before.

"That girl…" Wyldon leant in and jabbed a finger inches away from Neal's face. "That girl is worth ten of you. And it's because of that I am not going to waste a rescue mission by attempting something we cannot hope to achieve. We wait for back up and the right moment."

As Wyldon stalked away, Alanna sauntered over to her ex-squire. "What on in Mithros' name was _that_ about?"

Neal ran his fingers through his hair. "Nothing…" he muttered. He walked away before his emotions got the better of him in front of the Lioness.

As he stomped off, he heard Alanna mutter to someone, "Go after him. He needs a comforting ear right now."

A large hand on his shoulder stopped him before he could get too far. "Neal?"

"Just leave me alone," Neal shut his eyes, but not before a couple of tears had squeezed their way out and down his cheeks.

"Not a chance, Meathead," Dom persisted. He draped an arm round his cousin's shoulder. "It's not like you to let the Stump get one over on you," he added, using Neal's nickname for Wyldon.

"Goddess, I feel like such an idiot," Neal said thickly, wiping his nose on his sleeve. "I'm a _knight_ for Mithros' sake, I shouldn't be acting like this."

"If you didn't we wouldn't know if you were still the same Meathead. You've always been overdramatic." Dom was silent for a bit. "We're all worried about her, you know. Even Wyldon. _Especially_ Wyldon. I don't think he'd ever admit as much, but he thinks of her as a daughter almost as much as Raoul does."

"I didn't know the Stump had the capacity to think full stop, especially about such emotional issues," drawled Neal, sounding a little more like his normal self. "Dom…" he hesitated. "How _much_ are you worried about her?"

Dom blinked. "What do you mean? I'm as worried as everyone else is. She's my friend Neal – I'm not as close to her as you are, but I still care about her."

Neal realised they were both avoiding saying her name. He swallowed the lump in his throat and replied, "Kel…she likes you Dom. A lot. More than friends. Haven't you worked that out yet?"

His taller cousin looked a little shocked. "_Likes_ me? I never…" He stared into space. "Gods I never even considered it. She's…she's _Kel_. I…"

"Maybe I shouldn't have said anything." Neal realised the irony that, in a normal situation, the sight of Dom so dumbstruck would have filled him with wicked glee. "It's not important at the moment. We need to be concentrating on getting her back. And I should probably go grovel to the Stump a little bit, before he murders me in my bed tonight."

He started to walk back towards the main part of the camp.

Behind him, he heard a small voice mutter, "She _likes_ me?"


	13. Kel Holds On

**Firstly a little thank you to everyone who is still reading and enjoying (and reviewing!)**

**Secondly, I probably should have done this at the start, but I forgot - a disclaimer: The majority of the characters in this story are from Tamora Pierce's mind (you guys know which ones they are!).**

**Thirdly: A WARNING. The following chapter does contain themes of torture and violence. It gets a little bit darker in this part dear readers...**

13

_Water filled her ears, nose and eyes. She kept her mouth shut as tightly as she could, but the breath in her lungs was becoming insistent about its release. More cold water trickled down the front of her shirt as she tried wriggling. The pressure on her head only increased with this. _

_Kel opened her mouth, finally expelling the air in a rush of bubbles. Before she could draw the watery breath that would surely drown her, the hands on her head changed their grip suddenly and yanked backwards._

_As the water slowly dribbled out of her ears, Kel heard a voice speaking to her above the sounds of her own choking and gasping._

"…_your senses and realise that just telling me that teensy bit of information might save you any more of this?"_

_Blinking more water out of her eyes as it ran from her sodden fringe, Kel bared her teeth at the Scanran King and said nothing. Her hands clenched into fists; they were bound once more, only this time behind her back. Two men stood on either side of her, ready at a word from their king to dunk her head back into the bucket. One of them sported a new black eye – her doing, a futile escape attempt from earlier, when they had come to collect her from the hut._

_Maggur looked at her and shook his head, his features lit by the small fire that burned in the room. "Lady Knight, this is only the beginning you realise? I'm not going to give you an easy death, my dear. You hold some valuable information that I need and…well you know my personal reasons. However, it could end a lot quicker and easier if you just cooperate nicely."_

_He flinched ever so slightly as Kel spat in his face._

_Pain blossomed in her left cheek as one of the guard's fists connected with it._

"_No, no, leave her for the moment." Maggur extracted a handkerchief from his pocket and delicately dabbed at his face with it. "You can't expect women to know how to behave without some guidance. They are like all other animals, after all. They need to know who their master is." He gestured to someone else, out of Kel's line of sight._

_She smelt the unmistakeable smell of burning flesh, before her dizzy brain registered the fact that it was coming from her own upper arm. The realisation – and the agony that followed it – was so unexpected that Kel screamed._

_At the sight of Maggur's grin, she managed to get a hold on herself and bit her own tongue to keep from making any more sound._

"_You see," he said, softly, "As any good farmer would, I have all my cows branded." He gestured to the men beside her. "Take the Lady Knight to – "_

A bird chirruped somewhere close, bringing Kel back to the present. A brief shadow passed the weak light filtering through the window.

Clambering to her feet, Kel hobbled over to the tiny window, raising herself on tiptoes to peer out. If it had been one of her sparrows, it was no longer there.

Maybe she was hallucinating.

She limped back to the pile of straw in the corner and sat down again, hugging her right arm close to her body. Every inch of her hurt, but that arm was the worst of it – the snapped bone in her forearm sending waves of pain streaking up to her already pounding head every time she moved.

Three days. She had been living in this hellhole for three days now.

It felt like a lifetime.

The letter "M", seared into the flesh on her left upper arm, no longer even registered on her pain spectrum. The intervening couple of days since then had almost erased it from her memory; until she was given time to herself once more to fall back into recollecting.

Kel shifted her weight in the straw, grimaced as her broken arm made her head swim once more, and leant her left side against the cool stone of the back wall.

She had one thing left to cling to; one thing that was keeping her from plunging into the weeping madness that threatened her on an hourly basis now. Despite everything Maggur had done so far – and her sluggish brain told her that this was not even beginning to be the worst of it – she had not let one important fact slip past her lips.

However, Kel knew she couldn't last for much longer.

That morning, when Kerlan had stepped into the room that Kel now associated with mind-numbing pain, her heart had skipped several beats. The squad leader's eyes had flashed eagerly at the sight of the bruised woman before him.

As much as Kel hated Maggur, Kerlan had taken his place at the top of her most wanted list. Every time he was in her presence a red mist seemed to come down over her eyes. He knew she despised him; she guessed that's why he tried to be present for as many of King Maggur's 'talks' with her as he possibly could.

The King had looked on in his usual detached, cold manner that morning, as Kerlan had snapped the bones in her arm. Kel had nearly lost it at that point, she did not scream but breathed in snivelling gasps as blackness had raced across her vision, plunging her into blessed unconsciousness.

She had woken up back in the hut. That had been some hours ago now. She knew she did not have long to wait before Maggur called for her again.

A strange noise from outside made her jump nervously. Then she realised it was the sound of the large gates being opened. A delivery must be being made, or horsemen had arrived to back up the Scanran king.

Kel was about to lean against the wall once more and attempt to doze, when suddenly the whole courtyard outside was filled with shouts and screams. A horn blared in the distance.

Forgetting momentarily about her body's condition, Kel scrambled to her feet and lunged for the window. She used her left arm to grasp the sill and pulled herself up as high as she could, in order to get a better look.

The scene was confusing. Everyone outside was running around like headless chickens; some appeared to be fighting and there were more horses than Kel had seen before. Some of those horses looked oddly familiar…

Abruptly her eyes lit upon a strawberry roan warhorse, with what seemed to be a small boy on its back. As suddenly, they were out of sight.

_It couldn't be…could it?_

She looked frantically around at the confusion. Where those uniforms that of the Queen's Riders? And the man on the horse to her left…she knew him, although he was not a Rider. He was a member of the King's Own. Wasn't he?

And then she spotted a tall knight, sword gleaming in the low afternoon sun, riding another horse she recognised.

"_Neal_," Kel whispered, her heart constricting with something she hadn't felt in days. Hope. "Neal!" Kel shouted now, through the window. Her left arm could hold her weight no longer and she dropped back onto her feet.

Lurching to the door, she began to pound on it with her unbroken arm, screaming at the top of her lungs, "Neal! Neal! Help! Anyone! I'm in here! I'M IN HERE!"

Running footsteps sounded outside and Kel hammered on the door even harder, still shouting.

A fumbling at the lock made her step back a little. The door swung open.

The joy on Kel's face died slowly as the opening door revealed Kerlan and Mannet.


	14. Unexpected

**Another warning: it continues to get a little darker in this chapter...implied sexual references.**

**Will Kel manage to get out of her predicament? Read on dear readers...**

14

Her voice caught in her throat at the sight of Kerlan.

He grinned savagely at her and motioned for Mannet to close the door behind him, even though there was barely room for the three of them in the tiny space.

As Mannet moved to do so, it shook Kel out of her shocked trance. Snarling, she lunged at Kerlan.

In her anger, Kel forgot about her broken arm. Kerlan hadn't and, before she could lash out at him, he grasped her arm in one iron fist and twisted.

Kel's sight faded momentarily, swamped by the pain. When it cleared, she was lying on her back, her head hurting sharply where it had struck the ground. A weight was on top of her, pinning her to the floor.

Kerlan's face leered down at her. "Well looks like everyone's a little too busy to come to your rescue at the moment, Lady Knight. We've got some time alone."

A strange new fear made her heart beat erratically in her chest. Kel opened her mouth to scream for help. Kerlan crushed a hand over it, stopping her cries.

"The King stopped me from doing this before," he carried on, fumbling at his belt as he spoke. "But I get the impression he's a little busy now. So I'll have my fun, before I kill you." He glanced over at Mannet. "Make sure no one can get in. I don't want this bitch's friends interrupting."

Kel's eyes were wide with horror. This couldn't be happening. She tried to struggle out from underneath the man's weight, but her head swam and her body would not obey her mind's frantic instructions.

Leaning in close to her face, Kerlan hissed, "You're mine now, _Lady Knight_."

She closed her eyes, praying for unconsciousness.

There was a thump above her and Kerlan's weight suddenly became even heavier, before it rolled off her completely. Kel opened her eyes, drawing in a shuddering breath.

Kerlan lay to the side, out cold. Mannet stood above them both, his face flushed and his eyes sparkling with anger. He glanced at the girl on the floor, before stepping back and opening the door.

"What are you waiting for? _Run!_ He'll be awake in a minute!"

Confused, Kel just lay there staring at him.

Mannet growled a curse, reaching forward to grasp Kel's shirt and haul her to her feet. "What's the matter with you, wench? Go and find your friends, before it's too late. _Run!"_

Her mind still did not understand, but her legs at least heard the command and propelled her out of the door.

Kel did not know where she was running to. She barely saw the fight around her as her booted feet dug into the ground.

Blurred images swirled around her. Then, from nowhere, a rough hand grabbed her shoulder and pulled her round the back of a building, slamming her against the wall.

Kel yelled and blindly kicked out at her captor. Her foot connected with an armoured leg. She yelped.

"Gods curse it Mindelan! Calm down! It's me!"

Every muscle in her body automatically straightened to attention at that voice. Kel blinked and the face of the man who had a firm grip on her shoulder swam into focus.

"Lord Wyldon?" she whispered.

His stony brown eyes held an emotion she didn't recognise as he regarded her. "The very same," he said, more gently this time. He turned, put two fingers to his mouth and gave a sharp whistle.

A small white blur streaked across the bailey, where various small battles were still raging fiercely, and something cannoned into her legs.

Kel looked down into a white face with small black eyes and a tattered ear. "Jump!" she said, crouching down. "You're alive," she murmured, burying her face in his wiry fur.

Sensing not all was right with his mistress, Jump did not greet her in his usual boisterous manner. Instead he whined and licked her face gently.

Above, Wyldon cleared his throat. "Jump," he said, firmly, "Find Queenscove or Alanna. Quickly."

The dog whuffed in understanding, gave Kel one last lick and hared off again on his errand.

Kel straightened with a grimace and turned to look at her old training master once more.

"I apologise, Lady Knight, for the delay in our rescue," said Wyldon, looking a little awkward. "However, the situation was out of our…ooof!"

Wyldon's eyes widened in shock as Kel threw her good arm around him in an enormous hug, mindless of her own sore ribs. She leant her head against his mail covered shoulder, silent tears leaking from her eyes.

"Erm…Mindelan…" choked Wyldon. "I think we might give Queenscove a heart attack if he were to see this little scene. Pull yourself together!" But he gave her an awkward pat on the back.

The realisation of what she was doing – _hugging Lord Wyldon! _– crept over Kel slowly. She stepped back quickly, wincing as various parts of her hurt, and felt her cheeks turn red.

"Sorry sir," she said, trying to look anywhere but his face. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve.

"It's ok," commented Wyldon calmly. "Let's just not make a habit of it." He smiled at her.


	15. Reunited

**Another little thanks to my lovely reviewers, in particular "spazzysassyangel" - yay she did get rescued, but they've still got to get out of the castle! **

**Also to "darkwing7174" - thanks very much for your lovely comment. And hopefully this chapter is long enough for you :oP lol.**

**And finally, to "A" - surely the poor girl's gone through enough? And it's not over yet...**

15

Neal reined in his horse, slashing down at another Scanran with his sword. The man dropped to the ground without a sound and Neal took the opportunity to catch his breath for a moment.

Furious barking drew his eyes downwards. "Jump?" he said, seeing the dog bouncing excitedly. His brown mare whinnied nervously.

Dismounting, Neal checked to see no Scanrans were about to leap at him and bent down to speak to the dog. "What's the matter?"

It almost seemed as if Jump rolled his eyes in exasperation except, Neal reasoned with himself, dogs just didn't _do_ that. However, he made his intentions clearer by grabbing a large portion of Neal's tunic between his jaws and proceeding to drag him somewhere.

"Alright, I'm coming!" Neal followed Jump, leading his horse, over to a small building. There was no fighting going on in the area…for now.

The Scanrans had not been expecting the attack. Neal, the small band who had accompanied him into Scanra and the Riders had ambushed a supply train just before it reached the castle. Throwing the traders' cloaks on over their own gear; some of their group drove the carts, while the rest rode as an escort. None of the castle guards had suspected anything awry until the gates had already been opened – by that point it was too late. The fighting had begun in earnest then; the Tortallans taking advantage of their surprise to combat greater numbers.

So far so good, but the reason they were there in the first place was still a nagging worry in Neal's mind.

It was with anticipation, then, that he followed an increasingly excited Jump to just behind the building. The first thing he saw was Lord Wyldon, sword and shield poised in anticipation of an attack. Realising it was Neal, Wyldon lowered his weapon, something like relief on his face.

"Queenscove! Thank Mithros!"

_Odd, _thought Neal, _why is he hiding round here? Not like the Stump to be scared of bashing a few Scanrans. And why in all the Gods' names is he pleased to see _me?

He opened his mouth to make some remark to the older man, when his eyes lit upon a huddled form at the base of the building.

"Kel?" His voice came out as a whisper, as he dropped to his knees beside her and gathered her into his arms. "Oh thank the Goddess! You're alive!"

However, she tried to push away from him, giving a stifled gasp. "Neal…m-my arm…"

"Have a care, Queenscove. She's injured." Wyldon's voice floated down to them.

"What?" Neal drew away from his best friend and looked at her properly, feeling the blood drain from his face as he did.

Kel held her right arm awkwardly – it didn't take Neal long to see that it was broken. Red raw skin ringed her wrists. Her clothes were torn and filthy; numerous cuts and bruises showed through the rips. Her face was puffy; her nose broken and her lip split. Greasy brown hair hung into her bruised and swollen hazel eyes, which held a fear he'd never seen in her before.

Yet she still tried to give him a wan smile. "I can't even begin to say how pleased I am to see you!"

Neal blinked and tried to say something through numb lips. "Kel…what have they done?" He'd seen the state of her after fights so many times before, but the sight of her now rendered him nearly speechless.

"Oh, you know…being Scanrans generally…" Kel's attempt at joking fell flat. Her bottom lip was trembling and Neal knew only her sheer force of will – and Yamani training – were keeping her from weeping.

Neal had no such training; tears were flowing freely down his cheeks.

"Neal…stop it. I'm ok, really."

Choking on his own indignant answer, Neal was cut off by Wyldon.

"Stop blubbing Queenscove and make yourself useful. Get her comfortable enough to move; we're not going to be able to get out of this without a fight."

Permitting himself a glare at his former training master, Neal removed his leather gloves and rubbed at his face, before reaching out and taking Kel's right hand gently in his own.

He was about to start, when she grabbed his wrist with her good hand. He stared at her, startled.

"Not too much, Neal," she said seriously, her face showing none of the obvious pain she was in. "You know what I'm like with healings. You can't afford to be dragging me round while you fight off Scanrans left, right and centre. Besides, I'm not having you exhaust yourself on me when others might need you more."

"But Kel…"

"No, later. Just do my arm; the rest of it can wait." She held his eyes with her own. "Please Neal."

"Do as she says, Queenscove," said Wyldon, gruffly. "We've not got much time before our little hiding place is spotted." He kept his eyes trained on the open ground round the side of the building.

Grumbling to himself, Neal nodded and started to force his magic into Kel's arm. His palms itched with the need to heal the rest of her body, but he made himself stop once the bones were knitted together.

"It will need doing properly later," he remarked, reluctantly letting go of his friend. "Broken bones can't be fixed that easily. Still, it should have taken most of the pain away and you'll be able to use it _gently_ for a while at least." He eyed Kel warily. "How does it feel?"

She flexed her hand and rotated her wrist, grimacing slightly. "It'll do," she said. Glancing up at him, she caught his raised eyebrow. "Seriously, it feels lots better Neal. I'm fine. Thank you."

He snorted, but got to his feet and held out a hand to help her up. Kel stood and swayed slightly, her eyes becoming unfocussed.

"Kel! You need to be properly healed!"

Shaking her head, she went a little cross-eyed, before fixing her gaze on him and scowling. "And I will be. _Later_. Come on, I've had as much of this place as I can stomach. Let's get out of here."

As they moved out of the shelter of the building, Kel tried to concentrate on their next moves. It was difficult; her head felt like mush and, although her arm had stopped hurting so much, the rest of her aches and pains were still making themselves known.

Images of what had nearly taken place in the hut were also playing themselves out in her mind. They were harder to ignore than her injuries.

Clenching her jaw, Kel forced herself to remain in the present situation. A false move here could spell death. Or worse.

_They're not taking me back,_ she thought fiercely. _I'd rather die than go back to that._

"Stay close, Mindelan," murmured Lord Wyldon, breaking through her thoughts.

She nodded, tucking herself in between him and Neal as they went forward cautiously, shields and swords raised. Jump was with them, keeping low to the ground. More than anything Kel wished she had her glaive.

_That worm, King Maggot's still got it_. Kel clenched her fists. _I'd love to get my hands round his scrawny neck. And once I'm done with him…_

"There's my horse," said Neal softly, keeping his eye on a couple of Scanrans who were eyeing them up. "We'll sort these out and you run as fast as you can to her. Ride to the gate, there should be some Riders keeping the exit clear. We'll sound the retreat and follow."

Kel did not like the sound of this plan. It sounded too much like defeat. "I'm not running Neal. If we can get to Maggur…"

"Do as you're told, Mindelan," cut in Wyldon, curtly. "This is a rescue mission, not a takeover. We've not enough troops for that. The Scanrans will regroup soon."

About to open her mouth to argue, Kel was suddenly left standing as the two men rushed at the nearby Scanrans. Jump was hard on their tales, teeth bared in a snarl as he threw himself at a man.

She couldn't do anything else; with no weapons Kel was useless against the enemy warriors. Muttering a curse, she turned and ran towards Neal's horse.

As she did, a figure stepped in front of her, sword in hand. The Scanran guard grinned at her.

Kel skidded to a halt.

"Going somewhere?" he said.

Eyes sweeping the surrounding area for an escape route, Kel saw a body on the floor near the man she faced. As he came at her, Kel dodged his swing. She dove and rolled, surging to her feet once more with the sword of the dead man grasped in her fist.

The Scanran's mouth hung open in shock for a moment, before he mentally shook himself and started towards her again.

Every inch of her was protesting about the sudden flurry of movement and her right arm felt too weak to be holding such a heavy weapon. Ignoring her head – which was choosing this moment to start to spin again – Kel held the sword in both hands, keeping her eyes locked on her attacker.

"Get out of my way," she growled.

He snorted with laughter and swung his blade. Kel blocked it, barely, before counter-attacking. The man was smaller than she was and Kel used the advantage her greater height gave her, bearing down on him with controlled strokes. Finally, when he didn't see that her large chop was going to turn into a jab until it was too late, she killed him.

The point of the sword hit the ground as Kel leant on the hilt, drawing great, sucking breaths. Her arms were trembling and her sight was turning fuzzy. She was lucky the man had been overconfident. She doubted she would have been able to defeat anyone else.

Shouting in the distance made her raise her head. Neal's horse had run off, spooked. She was alone in the middle of the open ground, fighting still raging all around.

More shouting. "The King! Look to the King!" In Scanran.

Barely registering what she was doing, Kel started to run towards the noise.

The building loomed up before her; the same wooden structure that Maggur had been using as a base while the castle was being rebuilt. The same building in which he had taken such cold delight in causing her pain.

A whirlwind of activity and shouting was taking place in and around that building. Kel thought she saw a flash of red hair coupled with purple eyes in a window, but that person was gone from sight as quick as they were there.

_The Lioness? Surely she's not here too? Who else is going to pop up?_

The possible sighting of the King's Champion spurred Kel into remembering another sight she'd seen earlier. Tobe. And Peachblossom. Had she imagined it?

Some of the Scanrans around the building suddenly spotted her and pointed. Kel's stomach leapt as they started to come towards her. She turned and ran.

Sparrows shrieked in her ears and above that noise another sound. "We're comin' milady!"

A rage filled whinny made her stop and turn. As if she'd summoned them there by her thoughts, Peachblossom was busy stamping on one of the men who had dashed at her, while Tobe clung to the saddle.

The boy shouted at her, "Run Lady Kel! To the gate! To the gate!"

Once more her legs obeyed without due instruction from her mind.

Clasping the sword tightly, Kel urged her flagging legs onwards. The gate seemed like miles away, although her brain told her it couldn't possibly be more than a few feet.

Something connected with her ankles and she went flying. Throwing her arms out to stop her fall, the sword spun from her grip. Remembering her training, she took the fall on the flats of her arms, jarring her newly healed one and sending pain rocketing up through her shoulder. She grimaced and rolled onto her knees, clutching at her right arm with her other hand.

Someone else seemed to have the same idea. A large hand took her right arm roughly and squeezed a hold on her wrist.

"You little viper," a voice snarled down at her. Kel looked up into burning blue eyes. "I don't know how you managed to bewitch Mannet, but you won't be getting away that easily twice."

One side of Kerlan's face was bruised; the rest of it twisted with rage.


	16. Fight

**Hey to all you lovely people who have been reading and reviewing! Sorry for the delay in uploading new chapters, unfortunately the Easter holidays are over and work has once more reared its ugly head. **

**Still, I'll be doing my best to finish this story as quickly as I can. Read on, dear readers, to find out how Kel is going to get out of her latest predicament.**

**(Just to make sure, I don't own most of these characters...Tamora Pierce has that pleasure!)**

16

Though fear and anger had twisted her bowels into a knot, Kel's mind worked frantically.

She cried out sharply as he pulled her to her feet by her right arm and slammed her against a nearby wall.

Kel allowed herself to sag slightly as he let go of her arm and made as if to rub it with her left.

Kerlan was drawing his sword. "I'm going to take what you denied me earlier, then I'm going to have even more pleasure running you through with this." Every word was like dripping poison.

Bowing her head, Kel watched him from beneath her eyelashes as he went to reach for her again.

This time she was ready.

WHAM! The arm Kerlan thought still broken snapped out towards him. Kel's fist connected squarely with his nose with a satisfying crunch.

Kerlan staggered backwards, clutching at his nose.

Giving him no time to recover Kel kicked, high, and booted him in the stomach. He doubled over and as he did so, Kel lunged and grabbed his sword arm in her left hand, digging her nails into his wrist.

The Scanran was a tough warrior though. He recovered quickly, taking a hissing breath through his teeth and straightening up. He grabbed Kel's right wrist once more and they grappled briefly.

She had spent many years toughening her body, but the last few days had taken their toll. Kel grunted as her feet slipped back across the earth; Kerlan was leaning all of his weight into her. The bones in her right arm felt like they were grinding together.

_I'm not sure this is what Neal had in mind when he said I'd be able to use it _gently_ for a while,_ she thought to herself grimly, every muscle trembling as she attempted to counter the man's weight with her own.

A sort of stalemate was reached. Sweat dripping from her hair, Kel's eyes met Kerlan's.

He snarled at her, through the blood running from his ruined nose. "No wonder you refused the life of a proper lady. You're more man than woman. Who would ever want you for a wife? You'd probably crush them as soon as you went to bed with them!"

She met this with silence, glaring back at him. Kerlan grinned savagely and a sudden replay of what happened in the hut washed over her – lying on the floor, helpless, with him about to…

"Women like you are only good for two things. Being the little sluts they are and acting as my punching bag. You've done the second part well enough, time to fulfil your other destiny, _Protector of the Small_."

Something inside her snapped. Kel twisted to the side, kicking out at his ankles as she did so and yanking her arm from his grip. Her other hand – the one that grasped his sword arm – tightened its grip and twisted, feeling bones and tendons creak. The weapon dropped from his grasp and Kel caught it deftly as Kerlan went crashing into the wall behind, just as she had moments before.

He turned – surprisingly quickly given the circumstances – and came face to face with the snarling woman he had just tried to intimidate who was holding the point of his own sword, pointed directly at his mid-section.

"Say that again," whispered Kel, feeling a black rage she had never experienced before. "I _dare_ you."

Kerlan gave a choked laugh. "You really think – "

"Shut up." Kel's voice was still soft.

He raised an eyebrow at her. "You won't kill me. You haven't the guts for it, _wench_."

They were the last words he ever spoke. Blue eyes suddenly wide, Kerlan looked down in horror at the sword blade that now transfixed his stomach. Colour draining from his face, he turned his gaze upwards to the fiery hazel stare that seemed to bore into his head.

"You'd be surprised what I have the guts for Kerlan," growled Kel, grasping his shoulder and driving the sword deeper. The man grunted.

Kel stepped back, pulling the weapon with her. Kerlan slumped forward onto the ground, clawing desperately at the dirt with frantic fingers. His other hand scrabbled to keep his inners from falling out of his abdomen.

Mouth working, but no words coming out, he kept his eyes on Kel's face, pleading.

She simply stared back at him, bloody sword in hand, watching as the life slowly left him.

It took some time. Kel was not sure how long, but he was pale and still, his lifeless eyes still fixed upon her when something touched her on the arm.

"Kel?"

Neck stiff, Kel finally tore her eyes away from the wretched sight on the ground into another pair of blue eyes. Panic swamped her momentarily.

"Oooh, ok, let's just put the sword down shall we?"

Her fingers obeyed the voice as her mind finally registered who its owner was. Dom's dark hair was plastered to his forehead; he looked as if he had been fighting hard.

"We've been looking for you. Neal said you'd be over by the gate, but when you weren't…" He shook his head. "We're falling back. We need to go. _Now_." He looked at her then snapped his fingers in front of her face. "Kel? _Kel!_"

"What?" She jumped. "Oh…right…" Taking a step forward, the world suddenly span and Kel found her cheek pressed against a tunic which felt like it had chain mail underneath. Firm hands were under both her armpits.

"Lady Knight…" Dom's voice vibrated through her jaw. It sounded a bit strained. "No offense, but you're quite heavy."

_Brilliant,_ thought Kel, _Of all the people I actually go weak kneed in front of, it has to be Dom. Normally the thought of swooning in his arms would be a pleasant one, now however…_

She started to giggle. Even to her own ears, it sounded a little hysterical.

"Squire! I need a bit of assistance over here!"

"Kel! You found her! Is she alright? What…why is she laughing?"

"I've no idea. Can you take one side? We need to get her over to the gate."

One of her arms was slung over a broad pair of shoulders, while the other side was still being held by Dom.

Kel looked down at the man on the other side of her, into a pair of worried grey eyes. "Owen!" she said, "Jolly good to see you!" And went off into another bout of giggles.

Owen just looked even more anxious, as they made their stumbling way over to the gate. Kel did not see the Tortallan archers shoot down the Scanran men who tried to stop them.

A horn sounded. "Fall back! Everyone fall back!"

"Lady!" A small figure appeared before her. Kel grinned down at Tobe. He grinned back at her from a dirty face.

"Peachblossom's over here an' awaitin' you, Milady!" the boy said, beckoning to the big horse, who trotted over and snorted at her.

"Tobe, get on first, I think the Lady will need to sit behind you," said Dom. Tobe nodded and scrambled onto the warhorse's back.

"Do you think we need to tie her to the saddle?" asked Owen, shifting so Kel's weight was a bit more comfortable on his shoulder.

Those words sobered Kel up instantly, as she remembered her previous journey to the castle with a shudder. "No," she said firmly, attempting to take the weight on her own two feet. She succeeded, barely. "I'll be ok now, thank you."

The men nodded and half hoisted, half pushed her into the saddle behind Tobe.

"Jus' hold on tight to me, Milady," Tobe said. "We'll get yez home safe."

He craned his neck back to look her in the face. She smiled down at him.

"I never doubted it Tobe."


	17. Return

17

Later, Kel would only remember snippets of the flight from Fief Rathhausak.

The first part was when they finally stopped to rest, after what seemed like an age of riding to get clear of the castle. All around her Kel could hear people taking excitedly about something that had happened during the fight, but couldn't make out clearly what it was.

Her own personal escort, made up of Dom, Owen and Neal rode around her, making sure she didn't fall out of the saddle. The small body of Tobe warmed her, as he guided Peachblossom through the undergrowth.

Once they reached a safe clearing, everyone dismounted and started setting up camp. It was only now that Kel appreciated how many people – Riders, the King's Own – had come to her rescue.

"Lady Kel," a woman Kel recognised very well wandered over as Neal and Dom helped her to dismount.

"Fanche!" Kel reached out a hand and clasped the older woman's forearm. "I didn't know you were here!"

"We couldn't just leave our very own knight commander to the Scanrans," Fanche smiled, though her eyes roamed concernedly over Kel's face. "Think of it as returning the favour. Besides, we rid ourselves of a nasty Maggot in the process."

"What!" Kel looked round in confusion at Neal.

"King Maggur's dead, haven't you been listening to everyone?"

Kel shook her head. "How?"

Neal grinned. "The Lioness," he said, nodding her head over at the King's Champion as she slid from the back of her own mount. There was a makeshift bandage tied around her thigh and a nasty looking bruise on her forehead. "The war should definitely start winding down now, what with the Scanran's lacking a leader and all," Neal continued. "But enough of that, I need to finish what I started earlier. C'mon! Over here." He led her to a newly laid out bedroll, protesting all the way.

"But the Lioness…I want to hear what happened!"

"And you will," came a female voice. Alanna had wandered over to where Neal had persuaded Kel to sit down. "But first of all myself and Sir Nealan need to do a little work on you, Lady Knight."

"I'm fine," Kel said stubbornly, as Alanna's purple Gift washed over her. "And surely you need a healer as much as I do." She gestured to the Champion's injuries.

"Let me be the judge of that, young lady," the Lioness said sternly, the light of her magic winking out. She glanced at Neal. "There's a lot of work to be done on her. Some damage to her internal organs, fractures…I see you started on the broken arm, but it's been damaged again in the meantime…"

"Kel! I told you to use it gently!"

Kel stuck her tongue out at Neal, as Alanna continued. "And that's not even mentioning the whip marks, bruises, burns, cuts…what were they _doing_ to you, Kel?" Purple eyes looked at her searchingly.

Kel kept her own on the ground, her best Yamani Lump face intact. "Trying to get information. Revenge." She shrugged, then winced. "It could have been worse."

"Well, it's our job to make it better and not your place to argue," the Lioness said firmly, gentle hands forcing Kel to lie down. "Don't fight us, it's going to be enough work as it is." Alanna looked up at Neal. "Ready?"

He nodded, looking down at his friend with concern. "Kel…"

She smiled at him. "Sorry Neal, I'm not meaning to be awkward." Sighing she closed her eyes. "Do your worst."

The rest after that was a blur. She knew at some point she was put on a makeshift stretcher which hung between two horses. Occasionally she could see dappled light playing through tree branches overhead. There was another camp once; Kel remembered being propped up on a bedroll while someone coaxed some weak broth down her throat.

Then there were the dreams.

Between the brief lucid moments, Kel was plunged into dark nightmares where she was trapped in Castle Rathhausak, desperately trying to find her way out. Always she was being chased by a killing machine that had Kerlan's face. She would run past people she knew – Tobe, Neal, Dom, Merric, the children from New Hope – who would look as terrified as she felt and beg for her help. But instead of helping, Kel would thrust them aside as she ran and ran to get away. They would fall and she would hear their screams as the Kerlan machine sliced them into pieces.

Once, her dream changed, and she was back in the hut, lying on the floor. Above her, pinning her down, was a beautiful blonde man – Joren, her old enemy who had died as a squire. She tried to wriggle free, but could not move. Opening her mouth to call for help, no sound came out. A dark shape moved behind and Kel stared as Vinson – another of her old enemies – came into view.

"_My turn on the Lump next,"_ he said, grinning, as Joren pulled at her clothes.

"_Kel,"_ he seemed to say as she kept screaming her silent screams. _"Kel, Kel, Kel…"_

"KEL!"

Her eyes shot open and a large shape loomed over her as she lay in a soft bed.

For a terrifying moment, Kel thought her nightmare was once more becoming a reality.

"Get away from me!" It came out as a strangled croak, as she rolled away from the man landing ungracefully on the floor. Scrambling to her feet, Kel tried to back away but felt her back hit a wall behind her, just as her knees gave way.

She sank to the floor, her arms over her head. "No! Please!" Her voice came out stronger this time.

"Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan, look at me."

Though her heart was pounding wildly, Kel raised her head and looked into a ruddy face, topped with black curls. Dark eyes looked at her with worry.

"It was a bad dream. C'mon, let's get you back into bed," an enormous hand was held out to her.

Not trusting her voice, Kel let Lord Raoul pull her onto her feet. She swayed a little and blinked up at him.

"Aren't you supposed to be on honeymoon?"

Suddenly she was swept into a bear-like hug. She could feel Raoul's deep voice to the very soles of her feet. "We got back two days ago, after a courier brought us news of what had happened. Mithros, Kel, I've been so worried…"

She was trembling with the effort it took not to burst into tears; digging her nails into the palms of her hands. Kel tried to take a deep breath to calm herself and found it to be quite difficult.

"Sir…you're sort of squashing me…"

Raoul promptly let go of her and, hands on her shoulders, guided her back to the bed.

As he made a great fuss of fluffing her pillows, Kel took stock of her surroundings.

She was in a small room she did not recognise. It was fairly bare, apart from a few shelves, a tiny table, the bed she was in and a chair that Raoul finally lowered his bulk into.

"Where are we?"

"Steadfast," Raoul said, his voice a little gruffer than usual. He cleared his throat. "You've been here a whole day, though you've been pretty out of it most of that time. Sir Nealan said that you're nearly good as new now, although you need some more rest to fully recover."

Kel looked down at herself. She was wearing a clean nightshirt – a man's one she noted wryly. Her bruises had all but faded, although her skin was a tapestry of new scars, ones that added to the many already adorning her hands and arms. Putting a hand to her face, Kel felt her nose. It was no longer broken; her sight was much clearer too. All the pains of before had faded into a distant ache.

She shut her eyes briefly, remembering, and then looked at Raoul once more. "King Maggur…he's dead. The Lioness…"

"Had one of her little chats with him, I believe." Raoul smiled grimly. "We've had word from Daine's spies. The Scanrans are in a right quandary. The war is as good as over now, although we expect pockets of resistance from them for a while. Whoever takes over as the new leader, Jon is planning on sending envoys to try and draw up a peace treaty. I have my doubts about that, but we'll have to wait and see."

He paused, eyes searching her face. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," Kel said. And it was true, physically at least.

Raoul looked unsure at this answer, but nodded slowly. "I'd best go tell Neal that you're awake. He's been doing nothing but fuss this whole time. We basically had to carry him out of the room before he'd go and get some sleep. Buri and the others probably want to come and see you too. If you feel up to it, that is?"

Kel looked at her hands. In truth she didn't want to see anyone. But if she was alone, there was a risk she'd fall asleep again. She couldn't handle that. Not for a while anyway.

Forcing herself to look up, she tried a smile. "I'd love to see everyone. Send them in."

"Good," said Raoul, squeezing her shoulder. "I'm glad you're ok Kel," he continued, seriously. "The Realm can't afford to lose its best new knight." He smiled at her.

This time Kel couldn't manage a smile. She opted instead for her best Yamani expression and hoped Raoul thought it was modesty, not the sick, empty feeling that swamped her, which prevented her from agreeing with him.


	18. Concern

**A very big thank you once more to those people still reading and reviewing. Sorry for the delay in these new chapters, but work is sapping most of my creative energy during the week. Thus I have become a weekend fiction ninja ;o) **

**Anyhoo, to compensate, here's two for the price of one (or BOGOF if you will!) I honestly hope that everyone's still liking this story. I've enjoyed writing it so much, that I will be sad when it's done. And there's only one or two more chapters in the pipeline I'm afraid! :o(**

**As always, a certain Ms T Pierce owns these characters and this world. I wish I did!**

18

_New Hope – a month later._

"Neal?"

"Hmm?" Neal looked up from his paperwork at Seaver and Esmond, who were visiting the town. With the war winding down, most knights were slowly being given their orders to return to Corus. Neal, Kel and Merric were busy helping put the finishing touches to New Hope, which would continue to be a town until people were able to return safely to their old homes. There was even talk of the crown making it a permanent town and granting it to a noble, as the start of a new fief.

Seaver went to ask his question, paused, before saying, "Do you think they'll grant New Hope to Kel if they do make it a proper town?"

"They should!" Merric put in, shuffling the last of his papers. "She's done enough to deserve it."

A hush fell over the four knights as the shadows in the room grew longer. Outside, the sounds of the watch changing rang out.

"Neal?"

"What, Seaver? You've been avoiding asking me something all evening, just spit it out already!"

The younger man blushed under his dark complexion. "What's wrong with Kel?"

Neal raised an eyebrow. "How do you mean?"

"She's…I don't know how to describe it…she seems…"

"Tired?" supplied Merric.

"Stressed?" put in Esmond.

"Grumpy?" said Neal.

Seaver shook his head. "No…well yes, she is all of those things as well, but that's to be expected. She's got a lot to think about, sorting this place out. No, it's something else, she looks…" He hesitated. "Smaller."

He ducked his head as if expecting them to laugh at him, but raised it again when he was met with silence.

Neal rubbed a hand over his face and sighed. "I've noticed that too. She's never been a chatterbox, but lately it's all anyone can do to get more than a grunt out of her. Half the time I forget she's even in the room with me. I'm sure she's losing weight as well."

"She's been leaving most of her meals," said Merric, who ate with her more than Neal did. "I've asked her about it and she says she's just not hungry."

There was another silence as the four young men contemplated a world in which Kel did not enjoy her food. Things were worse than they thought.

"She's been dreamin' as well."

They all jumped at the small voice which came from by the door.

"Tobe! You've really got to stop sneaking in on meetings!"

The boy shrugged. "Milady don't want me hangin' bout her nowadays. She's even ordered me t'sleep in me own room, even though she's been havin' bad dreams again, 'cepting this time not about that Chamber." His eyes darkened. "These are worse. I ain't never heard her scream hersel' awake before this."

Esmond and Seaver looked at Neal with horror.

"Neal, what happened to her when the Scanrans caught her?" asked Esmond, eyes wide.

Shaking his head, Neal replied, "As far as I know they beat her silly and kept her locked in a tiny hut with hardly any food. She was a mess when we found her. It's got to be hard getting over something like that."

Merric frowned. "You've got to speak to her Neal. She's not coping with this at all."

"Of course she's coping! She's just…getting back into the swing of things. And I've _tried_ speaking to her. She just shrugs me off. Besides, why do I have to speak with her? Why can't you?"

"Because you're her best friend," said Seaver. "And from what you two…three, sorry Tobe, have said, she's clearly not coping as well as she's letting on. You need to _really_ speak to her Neal."

Neal blew through his nose in irritation, but was interrupted from arguing by Tobe.

"Anyways, the real reason I'm here, Sir Nealan, is that Milady wants you out by the gate. We's got visitors. His Lordship Wyldon's dropped by."

Making a derogatory noise, Neal got to his feet reluctantly, noting that suddenly all of his friends were busy reading letters and filling paperwork in.

_Guess I'm the only one waiting to fling myself joyfully into the Stump's welcoming arms_, Neal thought as he followed Tobe out to the gate.

New Hope was getting ready for bed, mothers hustling errant children from their precious last minutes of play, soldiers cleaning and putting away their weapons for the night, and sparrows flitting back to their roosts.

Approaching the gate, Neal saw a small group of men dismounting. He knew two of them well – one he was pleased to see. The other, not so much.

Kel was there, speaking quietly to those two men as the others busied themselves with their horses. Looking at her from behind with the previous conversation fresh in his mind, Neal could see how her tunic was looser than it used to be; how her normally broad shoulders drooped under some invisible strain.

"Ah, Sir Nealan, good to see you again." Lord Wyldon broke off his conversation with Kel and gave a small bow.

Neal raised an eyebrow, but a glare from Kel prevented his sarcastic reply. "An unexpected pleasure, My Lord. Welcome." He bowed quite correctly.

Wyldon's mouth twitched ever so slightly, before turning back to Kel.

"Hello Neal," said Owen. He grinned, but it faded as his eyes flicked to the lady knight.

"Squire Owen." Neal gave a playful salute. "What brings you here?"

"We're on our way back to Corus. We thought we might as well spend the night here, if there's room, rather than make camp." He paused and looked at Kel again before continuing, "I hear Seaver and Esmond are here too?"

Neal nodded, also watching Kel as she continued briefing Wyldon. Seaver was right. She _did _look smaller – Neal tried to work out how that was possible. Kel had always been quiet and unassuming, but she was normally one of the biggest people in the room; you couldn't help but notice her. She usually had no difficulties in taking charge of a situation and, when she spoke, people listened.

Lately, however…Neal sighed. She seemed hunched, as if she wanted nobody to see her. He tried to remember the last time he had heard her laugh and couldn't. As Kel spoke to Lord Wyldon, her voice sounded monotone (although, he reasoned, the Stump did have that effect on people). Her eyes, always with a bit of a far-off dreamer's quality about them anyway, seemed dull and not always fully focused.

"…I'll just go and sort out accommodation for you and your men, My Lord," Kel was saying. "We should be just about able to fit everyone in, although I'm afraid the quarters will be basic and a little cramped."

"That's fine, Lady Knight. Thank you for squeezing us in at such short notice." Wyldon's eyes were fixed on her face.

Kel, on the other hand, seemed to be looking somewhere over his left shoulder. "Not a problem, My Lord. The cooks can come up with something for a late supper I'm sure. If you'll excuse me, I'll see you in the mess hall in a little while." She bowed and walked off without another word, Tobe trotting after her like a little lost dog.

Owen made a noise like he was about to say something, but was cut off by Wyldon.

"Queenscove…how is the Lady Knight coping?"

Why did everyone insist on asking _him_? "Fine, I mean, well…there's a lot to do at the moment, but she's got clerks writing lists for everyone and groups of refugees doing jobs and – "

"That's not what I meant." Wyldon rubbed the old scar that ran from his eye to his temple.

"I apologise My Lordship," replied Neal, exasperated. "Your Worshipfulness should know by now that I sometimes need things spelled out to me plainly."

Noting the reddish tinge that had come over Wyldon's face, Owen cut in, "I think he meant after the Maggur business. Something's not right, Neal. Kel's not herself, even though she should be jolly happy that we rescued her and that Maggur's dead and all."

"You need to speak to her, Queenscove," added Wyldon. His voice was stern, but his brown eyes looked anxious. "It's common for soldiers who have seen or experienced bad things to have problems readjusting afterwards. Tortall needs its knights in peak condition. Mindelan has always been at pains to prove that she is immune to fear or worry, but I think this time it's getting the better of her. If she's not fully focused she's a danger to herself and others. Speak to her tonight. I want to know how things are before I leave tomorrow; if it comes to it I will order her to take a leave of absence from duty for a while."

And with that he marched off.

Neal threw his arms up in the air. "Lovely. If the Stump's so concerned about Kel not being fit, shouldn't _he_ be having that conversation with her? I can't believe even after all this time he's still trying to get rid of her from active duty. And I have to be his little messenger boy. I won't do it!"

"That's not it at all, Neal," Owen said, his chubby face serious. "Lord Wyldon is really worried about her. He'd never say as much but I can tell. I know him as well as anyone now. He thinks the strain of New Hope on top of what happened will push her over the edge. And he might be right, you know. I know Kel's the Protector of the Small and everything but, at the end of it all, she's only human."

Neal stared. "Since when did you become so perceptive, Jesslaw?"

Owen hit him on the arm. "Just because I generally look on the bright side of life doesn't mean I'm not perceptive," he retorted. "You do need to speak to her Neal. Not because I think she needs a forced break, but because I think she needs to talk. And you're the person here who knows her best. Anyway, I'd better go and help unpack."

As Owen went inside, Neal stood there alone in the last light of the day, his brain whirring. He knew Owen was right, that Seaver and the others were right – hell, that even _Wyldon_ was right. He did need to speak to Kel; properly speak to her. He'd been avoiding bringing the issue up and it dawned on him why.

He was scared.

Neal realised he was frightened that he wouldn't like what Kel had to tell him. Moreover, he was scared to see his best friend, who he'd always thought invulnerable, show any weakness. Though he was older, Kel had always been his rock, since that awful first year of page training.

Well, she needed him now and he had to stop being a coward about it.

Squaring his shoulders, Neal went off in search of her.


	19. Talking

19

Kel paused in her writing to rub her eyes and yawn. She was exhausted, but the candle in her office had not fully burnt down yet and she would keep working until it did. That way, when she could no longer avoid going to bed, she would be so tired sleep would come with no dreams.

That was the plan anyway. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn't.

Everyone else was in bed by now, except her and the night watch. Even Jump was asleep at her feet, snoring softly.

Smothering another yawn, Kel picked up another letter of dispatch and held it up to her face, squinting her sleepy eyes in the dim light. Just then, a knock at the door made her start. Jump raised his head.

"Only me," came a voice from the other side. The door opened a crack and Neal peered round.

"What are you still doing up?" Kel demanded.

Neal raised an eyebrow. "I could say the same thing about you. Aren't those next week's dispatches?"

A wave of irritation washed over her. "Maybe."

"Then what in Mithros' name are you doing up at this time of night still doing them?"

"In case it had escaped your notice, there's a lot to be done if we're to leave New Hope soon. I want to keep on top of everything."

"By working yourself to death?"

"Neal," Kel got up and went to the door. "If you came to lecture me, then you can go away. I'm busy." She made to shut the door in his face.

He stuck his foot in the way. "I'm sorry Kel, I started this all wrong. I wanted to have a chat with you. Can I come in?"

She really didn't want him to, but sighed and nodded. Sitting back down at her desk, Kel picked up the letter again and started to read it, ignoring Neal as he sat on a spare chair.

"Kel…are you alright?"

"I would be if I could concentrate on what I'm doing," she snapped.

Kel was so busy scowling at the paper in front of her, she completely missed the hurt expression that crossed Neal's features.

He tried again. "I mean…generally…you seem…well…"

Giving a frustrated groan, Kel slammed the dispatch down on the desk. "Spit it out Neal."

"You're not yourself," he said, going a little red.

"Of course I'm not, I've got a hundred and one things to do and Lord Wyldon turning up unannounced and expecting me to drop everything and find him somewhere to sleep…I'm allowed to be a bit stressed Neal, I think!"

"No, I mean…after what happened, in Scanra. You're acting strangely. We're all worried about you."

Kel could feel the blood drain from her face. "I don't know what you…wait, what do you mean '_we're_ all worried'"?

"Everyone. Me, Merric, Seaver, Esmond, Owen – gods, even the Stump's noticed. He told me he's thinking of asking you to take some leave from duty."

That left her momentarily speechless. "He wants to _what?_" she squeaked when she found her voice. "He can't do that! Where would I go? What would I do?"

"You'd go home, Kel. To Mindelan. Your parents are there at the moment, aren't they? You could get some rest."

"No," she said bluntly. "I don't want to. My place is here."

"Why not? It might do you good. For once the Stump might be right…"

Anger was now pulsing at her temples. "I can't believe you've been talking about me behind my back! And to Lord Wyldon!" Kel struggled for words and to keep her anger from her face.

"Kel, don't be like that, we're worried about you," Neal said, his green eyes a little desperate.

"Well don't be. I'm fine." Kel was gripping the sides of the chair and willing herself into Yamani calm. She was succeeding. Just. "Go away please Neal. I want to finish these and then get some sleep."

"No, I'm not leaving until you tell me what's wrong." He crossed his arms and glared at her, angry himself now.

"Nothing, I'm just stressed, I told you."

"You're lying," Neal retorted. He leant forward in his chair. "You forget; I'm one of the few people that can always tell when you're not being honest. That Yamani face of yours doesn't work on me, Mindelan, so _tell_ me."

She didn't want to tell him, that was the problem. Kel would be happy if she never had to talk about what happened _ever_. During her recovery at Steadfast she had managed to deflect any probing questions about what had happened during her capture. Raoul in particular had been concerned and tried to get her to talk, but she had brushed him off.

Kel had almost looked forward to the return to New Hope and the piles of work she could bury herself in. The journey back had been the hardest. She'd been jumpy and tense the whole way; eyes and ears alert at all times for a possible ambush; hand never far from the hilt of her sword. Then they'd had to pass the place where she'd been taken. Kel had gripped Peachblossom's reins until her knuckles turned white; keeping her eyes shut until they were almost at the gates of New Hope, trying to breathe steady. If anyone had noticed, they hadn't said anything. Once back, she had again skimmed over details as nosey refugees and soldiers bombarded her with questions, throwing herself back into the daily life of New Hope. Almost.

Nobody had mentioned the fact she avoided going outside the walls whenever possible. Nor had they mentioned that she had not gone to visit the grave sites of the men who had been lost, in the battle before her kidnap. Or Hoshi's grave.

Neither had anyone mentioned the fact that she kept to herself as much as possible, avoided all conversations, stopped training Tobe and his friends, passed on complaints to Neal or Merric to deal with, and worked or practised weapons to an extreme.

Until now that was.

"Neal," she said, her voice softly ominous. "There's nothing to tell. Now go away."

"No!" he said, voice rising. "Not until you start talking, Kel. Or should I go tell the Stump he's right to be thinking about sending you on leave?"

Panic swamped her. She couldn't go home and face her parents. They knew the basic details of what had happened, but Kel hadn't gone into specifics. There was no point worrying them. If she went home, she would be smothered by her mother and father's care. And she would have nothing to keep her occupied, to keep her mind from wandering back to…

"You do," Kel growled. "And you'll lose any chance of fathering a child on Yuki."

Neal blinked, not expecting the quiet anger with which he was faced. However, his features rearranged themselves determinedly.

"I don't care if you're mad at me. In fact, I think it might be a good thing. You can't keep it all bottled up! It's killing you!"

"Neal, for Mithros' sake…"

"Kel, talk to me! Tell me what the matter is! Shout at me if you want, but just _tell me!_"

"_I don't want to!_" she yelled, pushed finally to her limit. A sudden headache streaked across her forehead. She stood and grabbed Neal by the back of his shirt, hauling him from the chair and dragging him to the door. "Just _get out!_"

He hung on to the door frame. "No! Kel, I'm not dropping this! You can push and pull all you like, I'm not leaving!"

A door opened in headquarters and a few tousled heads peered out at the commotion. Kel could feel herself reddening.

"Neal!" she hissed. "Just go!"

"No!" He refused to keep his voice down. "You'll have to hit me or drag me out yourself."

"Neal!"

"No."

"I'm warning you…"

"Talk to me Kel!"

"No!"

"Why? Just tell me why!"

"_Because I want to forget about it!_"

It was not until she saw the angry look turn to surprise on Neal's face, that Kel realised her hand had moved almost of its own accord, balled into a fist. Seemingly without input from her brain, her right arm shot out and the fist connected solidly with Neal's jaw.

As he fell backwards, the rage in her drained rapidly away to be replaced with horror. She turned and looked at the people who had stepped into the corridor. Seaver had his hand over his mouth, dark eyes wide. Esmond looked very pale. Owen and Wyldon stood there side-by-side, the same expression of shock on both their faces. In any other situation it would have been quite comical.

Kel stared back at them for a fleeting moment, before turning and running full pelt down the corridor until she reached her own bedroom. She flung herself inside and shut the door with a loud bang on the faces of her friends.


	20. Go after her, Queenscove!

20

"Neal? Neal!" The pale blur that hovered in his vision swam into focus to reveal Esmond. "Are you ok?"

Sitting up _very_ slowly, Neal calmly felt his teeth. They, miraculously, seemed to still be rooted firmly in the gums.

"She's losing her touch," he commented to no one in particular. "If she'd done that a couple of months ago I'd be unconscious for three days." He rubbed his jaw and flinched at the already spreading bruise.

Esmond and Seaver grabbed his arms and hauled him to his feet. The world span momentarily, before settling down again.

"Go after her, Queenscove!" said Wyldon, his brown eyes worried.

Neal raised his eyebrows. "With all due respect sir, have you ever seen Kel angry before?"

Wyldon frowned and shook his head. The others all copied him.

"Me neither, until just then. It's not really something I'd like to repeat. I would actually quite like to continue living my life out with a fully working body." When they continued to stare at him, Neal sighed, resigned. He was in it this far. It would be silly to back out now. "All right, I'm going. Seaver, if I don't make it back, you're in charge of divvying out my stuff. Just don't let Owen get his grubby paws on my philosophy books. The intellectual wisdom will be wasted on his tiny brain."

Before Owen could stop spluttering enough to think of a comeback, Neal had marched off down the corridor towards Kel's room.

He knocked on the door. There was no answer.

He called softly, "Kel?"

Silence.

Fully expecting it to be locked, Neal tried the handle. It turned. Taking a deep breath he eased the door open and cautiously stuck his head in.

"Kel?"

A small noise made him look down and he saw a familiar head topped with mouse-brown hair.

Entering the room, he shut the door behind him and sat on the floor with his back against the wall. Next to him, Kel had her knees drawn up to her chest, her head resting on them and her arms hugging them tightly.

"I'm going to put my hand on your shoulder. Please don't destroy me."

At his gentle touch, a sound came from Kel that was almost like a laugh. She raised her head and Neal saw that her face was pale beneath her tan; the dark smudges under her eyes more prominent now than they ever had been.

"I'm sorry," Neal said. "I've been an awful best friend."

Kel gave him a questioning look. "I thought I just hit _you_. How does that make you a worse friend than me?"

"I deserved it. I've been ignoring the fact that you needed me. I didn't even realise I was doing it until people pointed it out to me. I thought you were just coping…I didn't for one moment think that the Protector of the Small might need a little help."

"Don't call me that Neal," Kel's voice was no louder than a whisper. She stared at the floor.

"Sorry," he said. "Kel, I didn't mean to push you. But I think it needs to be done. You're wasting away."

She gave another one of those non-laughs. "There's too much of me to waste away. You'll be waiting a long time."

"I'm not so sure." Neal's green eyes searched her face and saw nothing. Kel's Yamani mask was just about clinging on. "Kel…it's ok to feel this way. Father told me about it once. After a traumatic incident…it can affect you in more ways than just physically. It's quite common among soldiers who have been into battle or seen horrific sights. You're not the only one to have ever felt this way. You shouldn't keep it all inside though. You don't have to tell me now if you don't want to, but you should talk about it. To someone."

Kel gave a huge sigh. She still wouldn't meet his eyes, instead concentrating on picking at a small hole in her breeches.

"I've been thinking," she said eventually. "About what you said before. Maybe I should go on a leave of absence."

"Ok." Neal nodded, not really expecting that answer, but relieved nonetheless.

"A permanent one. I think I'm going to give up my shield."

There was a brief silence in which Neal heard his heart skip a beat. "What? But…Kel…You can't! You fought so hard for it! You can't…I mean…all that time…why?"

She rubbed her hands over her eyes. "I don't think I'm good enough for it. I've been deluding myself into thinking I'm some kind of warrior…a _commander_ even." Kel shook her head. "I can't do it any more Neal."

"But Kel, you're the best knight out of all of us! It's all you ever wanted! You can't let what happened put you off just like that!"

Kel remained silent.

"Hey, look at me!"

She raised her head again and met his eyes with her own dull hazel ones. For the first time, Neal felt like he was seeing her as she truly was at that moment – a scared nineteen year old girl who had been given too much responsibility and had gone through a horrifying ordeal.

"Is it so hard to tell me about it?" he asked gently.

Kel chewed on her lip for a moment, her gaze focused somewhere else. Then, she began to talk.


	21. Friends

**Well here it is kiddos. The last couple of chapters. I've really enjoyed writing this and I just want to say a big thank you to everyone who has been so lovely in their reviews (and to those who have been honest as well! Lol!)**

**I hope you like the way this ends, it's the one bit I find hardest about writing is ending things. But I have left room for a sequel, if anyone's interested... :o) **

**Anyway, hope you enjoyed reading as much as I've enjoyed writing! Much love to all! Sam x**

**Disclaimed: Oh you know by now...**

21

Now she had started, the words seemed to tumble unchecked from her lips. She told him everything; from her escape attempt in the forest to the things Maggur did to her when he called her to him.

Neal had been right, to a certain degree. As Kel spoke it felt like some tension was draining out of her. She hadn't realised what a burden keeping quiet had been until now.

Then she reached the part where the Tortallans had entered the castle and the fighting began. She reached the part where the door of the hut had opened to reveal Kerlan and Mannet. Her throat seemed to close over.

"Kel…it's ok. You don't have to carry on." It was the first time since she had started Neal had spoken.

But she did have to carry on. Kel cleared her throat and made herself continue. As she did, his face – carefully composed until now – twisted into shock and dismay.

Thankfully, he remained quiet until she had finished, breathing heavily as if she had run a long way.

"Kel, I didn't realise…"

She shrugged, not looking at him.

"But…" Neal paused, as if considering how what he was about to say would go down. "Nothing happened. He didn't…you know…"

"I know!" It came out louder than she'd expected. "I know that and I keep telling myself that! But I still feel…" Kel shut her eyes, the scene replaying once more in her head. She wished it wouldn't.

Neal was silent.

"I've never been so frightened! Not the Chamber, not when I went off into Scanra that first time. This was…I've never felt that helpless in my life! He was about to…and there was nothing I could do about it! I was trying so hard, but I'd hit my head and my arm was killing me and…and…I just had to wait for someone to rescue me. And they did! Mannet…I don't know why he did it. And I don't even know what happened to him. Kerlan probably killed him for all I know. And other people died all because I was stupid enough to get myself into a situation too big for me. Again."

She became aware that tears were trickling quietly down her cheeks. Angrily, she swiped at her face with the back of her hand.

"If Mannet hadn't…" she shuddered. "And it's not the first time I've needed rescuing. What about running off after the refugees on my own? If you lot hadn't shown up I would have been killed. Simple as. And everyone gives me the credit for it! But it wasn't me!"

"It was you," Neal said softly. His green eyes held her own. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you say you're no good. You took down Blayce and Stenmun. And if you hadn't have gone after the refugees that wouldn't have happened. I hate to say it Kel, but if you hadn't been, I quote, 'stupid enough' to get caught then Maggur would still be waltzing around as king right now."

Kel shook her head. "I'm so tired Neal. I'm so tired of all this."

"I'm not surprised." He put his arms around her and hugged her close. "You think about other people so much, do you even stop and think about yourself at all?"

"I did in Scanra," she whispered. "I was so scared. If you hadn't come…if Mannet hadn't…if…if…"

The rest of the words were lost. Neal made murmuring noises, patting her on the back and rocking her, as a month's worth of weeping racked her body.

Finally, the tears slowed to a trickle and the sobs turned into hiccups. She pushed away from Neal and fumbled in her pocket for a handkerchief.

Neal was looking at her, seeming a little scared by her sudden outburst. She realised he'd never seen her like this before. Kel blew her nose loudly, hiding her embarrassment.

"Sorry," she muttered. "I didn't mean to go all blubbering-wreck like on you."

He smiled sadly. "Don't you dare apologise. If you can't blub on me, who can you blub on?" He frowned. "Kel…what you said before, about giving up your shield…did you really mean it?"

Kel sighed. "I don't know. No…I'd be giving up the only life I knew. It's just…it's the one thing I've been absolutely certain about, becoming a knight. It's been the thing that's driven me for all these years, but after what happened…" She shook her head. "I don't know."

"You can't let it stop you," Neal said sternly. "You'd be giving up and you're not a quitter Kel. Not even when you thought you'd have to repeat four years of page training. That would have been enough to send me back up Balor's Needle and throwing myself off it but you…you took it on the chin and were ready to just get on with it."

That forced a weak grin from her. "Gods, I'm a good actor. What I was really ready to do was what I've just been doing. Blubbering. But I didn't want to give the Stump and the other idiots who wanted me gone the satisfaction of seeing me crumble."

"And yet, that would be what you were thinking of doing now…wait. Did _you_ just call Lord Wyldon 'the Stump'?"

Kel laughed, properly, for the first time in a month. It felt good. "I did. It just slipped out. I've been spending too much time hanging about with you, Meathead."

"Watch it," Neal said sternly, but he was grinning. Suddenly he became serious again. "Back to the point. Your shield."

"Will stay firmly on my arm where it belongs," said Kel. "I don't know what else I would do anyway. Trying to pass myself off as a court lady at this point would be…difficult." She gave another sigh. "No, I think I'm just going to have to pull myself together and get on with it. I hadn't realised how much I'd been moping until today."

"Not moping. Suffering. Kel, you're not made of stone. You need your friends, but we can't help if you won't let us. So we'll make a deal – I promise to never again run away from being a good friend, if you promise to tell me how you're feeling." He held his hand out.

Kel looked at his hand and then at Neal. She smiled, feeling truly better for the first time in what seemed like an age. "Deal," she whispered, as they exchanged a firm handshake." A large yawn made her jaw creak.

"Bed," ordered Neal. "And don't be daft enough to go getting up before dawn like usual. That's instructions from your official healer."

"All right, mother!" retorted Kel, another yawn escaping her. "At least send Tobe to wake me up to see Lord Wyldon and Owen before they go." Suddenly she felt her cheeks grow warm. "Oh Mithros, they saw what happened earlier didn't they?"

"Don't worry about it," breezed Neal, waving a hand airily. "They'll probably put it down to time of the month or some such similar women's stuff! Ouch!" He rubbed his arm where Kel's fist had landed.

"Be thankful it wasn't your face again, Queenscove." Kel grinned at him. "Now scoot, I'm going to bed, which is where you should be too."

Neal made a huffing noise, climbing to his feet and helping her up. "G'night then, Protector of the Small…noooo, I'm sorry! Sorry!"

"Neal," Kel said warningly, opening the door. "Scoot!"

"I'm going, never fear!" But as he went to leave, Kel reached out and caught his arm.

"Neal," she said softly, looking into his eyes. "Thank you."

He gave her a warm hug. "What are friends for? Welcome back, Keladry of Mindelan."


	22. The Letter

Epilogue

It was just after dawn when Kel opened her eyes.

_Well, I'm not totally disobeying Neal's instructions_, she thought to herself, stretching lazily.

Easing her feet out from underneath Jump's warm body, Kel rolled out of bed and stood, twisting to get the kinks out of her spine. The sparrows cheeped as they awoke and fluttered out of the slightly open window.

It had been the best night of sleep she'd had in ages. There had been no dreams, no terrifying flashbacks. Kel actually felt rested for a change. And, as her stomach growled, ready for a decent breakfast.

She dressed quickly, realising with shock how loose her clothes had become. Her glaive had never been retrieved from Scanra, so a morning pattern dance was out of the question, but she did a few arm-strengthening exercises and sword work.

Whistling, she trotted down the corridor to her office. Doors in headquarters were open and sounds from the courtyard outside told her that Wyldon and his men were already preparing to leave. She would go and see them in a bit, but she wanted to sort out the mess she'd left her papers in the night before.

Seeing her desk in the morning light, Kel grimaced. It was worse than she'd thought. Her usually neat and organised desk was a mass of half-finished reports and dispatches.

_Gods, Neal was right, I really haven't been myself lately_.

Sighing, Kel started to straighten everything up into careful piles, when something caught her eye.

She pulled out an envelope which simply had the word "_Kel"_ on the front of it, differing from the usual post she received. She didn't remember seeing it before.

Intrigued, Kel slid a thumb under the seal and opened the envelope. As she read, her eyes grew wide. Then they narrowed again.

Clutching the piece of paper in one fist, she stalked out of headquarters.

xxx

Neal was busy trying to hold back his emotion at Wyldon's departure.

"Well, we probably won't see you for a few more months at least, My Lord, not while we're sorting things out here still," said the young knight, a broad grin on his face.

"Stop looking so darned pleased about it, Queenscove. Where's Mindelan anyway? I wanted to speak to her before we go. Do you really think she should still be here and not on leave?"

Neal nodded, "She needs to be kept occupied. I think Kel's feeling better already, but it's going to be a while before she's back to normal. Going on leave will just hinder her progress, not help it."

Wyldon looked hard at him, searching for something in Neal's face. Whatever he was looking for, apparently he found it because he nodded and said, "Very well. I'd still like one last word with her."

"Hitting Neal's enough to make anyone feel better," quipped Merric, who had laughed for a good ten minutes straight when Seaver and Esmond had filled him in on the events of the night before. "I wish I'd seen that!"

"I can replay it for you using your face as a stand-in for me and my fist for Kel's if you like," muttered Neal sullenly.

Esmond and Seaver grinned broadly at him, while Owen – who had been busy fiddling with his saddle bags – tried to smother his giggles. Wyldon simply shook his head and sighed.

"Oh, look, here's Kel now," remarked Esmond, pointing towards the door of headquarters as it opened.

"I thought you said she was better?" said Owen. "She still looks pretty mad to me."

"What?" Neal frowned, confused. "She was, I told you we had a long talk last night and…"

He was cut off as Kel shouted across the courtyard. "Nealan of Queenscove! I need to have a word with you!"

"What's wrong?" he asked, as Kel drew closer. She smiled at him tightly, but her hazel eyes glittered.

"Have a look at this," she said, holding a piece of paper out to him.

Puzzled, Neal read the letter. His face paled as he did.

"Neal," Kel said softly. Neal turned his suddenly terrified gaze back to her face. "I'm. Going. To. Kill. You."

With a squawk Neal took off, long legs eating up the ground as he ran. Kel wasn't far behind, yelling as she ran after him, "You can run, but you can't hide from me Queenscove!"

"What on earth was that about?" asked Seaver, his eyes wide.

As Esmond and Owen shrugged, Wyldon bent to pick up the piece of paper that Neal had dropped in his haste.

It was quite a short letter.

_Dearest Kel._

_Meathead told me that you liked me. I'm a little confused that you've never said anything before. I just want you to know I'm not avoiding you; the Own has been busy at the moment. Still, it's given me time to think. We should be passing through New Hope soon. It will be nice to see you again. I hope you're well. While I'm there, we should have a talk._

_Best wishes,_

_Dom._


End file.
